Page 24 of Heartless

I know that I shouldn’t push it, but I can’t seem to help myself. The anger in me rivals the compassion for her pain right now. In fact, my anger is quickly turning into fury and outweighing it by far.

“Yes, she was!”

MJ breaks my hold on her elbow and fumbles with the key in the lock. She finally unlocks it and races for the steps.

“No, you don’t get to run! You came looking for me, and I’m here!”

“I can’t do this anymore, Onyx!”

“Do what?”

“This,” she says, waving her hand back and forth between us. “The arguing, the not being on the same page, the tension...the...the flirting! The cheating!”

“I have never given you a reason to doubt me. Not once have I ever tried to change you, MJ. I accepted you for who you were, with flaws and all!”

“My flaws? What flaws, Onyx?”

“That’s the problem right there. You think that your shit is so perfect. That you do nothing wrong! You’re not the only one that’s tired! I’m tired of the nagging, the pressure to have a baby, and lately, the incessant phone calls where you feel the need to check up on me!”

“Then leave, Onyx! You don’t have to deal with me!”

“Maybe I will,” I sneer, pushing past her on the steps.

I head into our bedroom and grab the bags that I have packed for my business trip that I’m supposed to be flying out for in two days.

“I need a man who’s faithful, Onyx.”

“I have been. Always have been. But if this is what we’re doing now because we’ve got other shit between us, then maybe I should’ve cheated. Maybe I should’ve took her up on her offer and took her back to her hotel and fucked her real good. At least that way, you’d have a reason to accuse me. If I’m going to be what you call me, then I shouldn’t hold back!”

I hear the gasp in her voice, and then she says, “Go to hell.”

“Lately, I’ve been there.”

“If you pack your bags, don’t come back,” she says, watching me from the doorway.

“This is my house! I pay the annual property taxes on this, and I can come and go as I please.”

“Then maybe I should be the one who leaves,” she says in a teary voice.

“Maybe we need some space,” I say as I come to stand in front of her.

“Yeah, maybe we do,” she says.

I eye my wife up and down, and as much as I want to say I love you or hold her, I can’t right now. There’s too much space and too much hurt between us.

“Call me if you need me,” I say.

“I won’t,” she replies coldly.

6 – MEADOW

Our performance a few nights ago was such a success that we’ve had a huge turnout at our annual open house today.

I smile when I read Micah’s text message. I haven’t heard from Onyx since he left home last night.

I spent the night crying and wondering what happened between us. The last thing that I want is to call him and apologize. I’m not wrong in my stance, and until he can see the error of his ways maybe we do need some time apart.

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