Page 31 of Found In Destruction

Ever since Ares announced that I was the problem in our group-lationship, for lack of a better term, I couldn’t sleep at night, my mind filled with doubts about myself. I always took whatever that fool said with a grain of salt, because he was fucking mental and missing a shit ton of brain cells…but he was right.

His words swirled in my head, making me feel like absolute shite.

If she had the choice, she wouldn’t want a toxic mess like you. You couldn’t even manage to make a relationship with your best friend and the nicest guy we know work, because you’re selfish, narcissistic, and dumb as fuck.

You’ve been borderline abusive, treating Azazel like complete shit.

Ares may have had a point…

I am the problem.

I didn’t think it was a coincidence that all of my people were mad at me. Whenever I was around Diana, I felt the hesitancy in our claimbond and she blocked my mindlinks. She may have returned, but she put distance between us, so it still felt likeshe was in another time. I purposely opted out of her torture training session, because she probably didn’t want me there.

I bullied Azazel to the point where he wouldn’t even speak to me. I had tried to see him after apologizing, but Desmond blocked my attempts to visit him in his dreams by waking him up.Rude. The next day, I found him reading in a nook on one of the ground level floors, but as soon as he saw me, he faded away. I couldn’t blame him…I don’t want to be around me, either.

Ares would have killed me by now if I wasn’t immortal. I knew my best friend was cross with me. The only person who wasn’t mad at me was Mal. He really should be, but he’s so absorbed with Diana that he doesn’t have any attention to spare me. If he did, he’d probably hate me.

I should have been to breakfast a while ago, but I’d laid in bed instead, wondering how I could fix everything. Bringing Diana out of her coma probably wasn’t enough to rectify what I did to her. Azazel wasn’t even looking at me, let alone speaking to me. And Ares…I wasn’t sure I could face him right now, because he was right. I was an abusive, toxic piece of shit. If Birdie did forgive any of us, it wouldn’t be me.

Bash, you need to be at the training center in an hour,Desmond linked me.

I rolled over, perfectly content with mopping and wracking my brain for answers I didn’t have. Everyone could piss off—I needed a day to be alone.

Right before I started locking down my wards, there was a soft knock at my door.

“Can I come in?” Diana asked as she leaned against the open doorway.

She wore black sweatpants and a white crop top with a rainbow on it that left a few inches of her smooth, creamy skin visible. There was a pot of gold at the end, and I chuckled internally. I forgot for a moment that she used to be a normal,mortal woman once upon a time. Not so long ago, actually. She probably still held the misconception that Leprechauns were adorable little creatures who guarded their pots of gold.

“Sure,” I said, confused as to why she would be here.

“I noticed you weren’t at breakfast today…” she mentioned as she sat down on the edge of my bed. This was the closest we’d been to each other since I laid next to her before she kicked me out of her hospital room.

I rolled toward her, propping my head up on my elbow. “I’m taking a day to myself.”

“You missed my last training session too…”

“You noticed?” I asked.

“Yes, I did. You’ve never missed a training session. I wore extra tight pants just for you.” She giggled, but the sound didn’t work for me like it usually did. I felt…flat.

I shrugged, unable to come up with anything to say.

“Look, I’m going to cut to the chase. I can feel your sadness through our claimbond, and it’s freaking me out.”

“You can always ask your dad how to break the bond. If he can break soulbond, he can probably break a claimbond,” I huffed. She should just put me out of my misery and do it now.

“Sebastian Black,” she full-named me. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” A blast of magic hit me upside the head, and I shot up into a seated position. Diana shot me a disgusted expression.

Yeah, Birdie, I’m disgusted with myself, too.

“According to Ares, I’m a problem,” I told her. “Everyone hates me, and I don’t blame them. I drove you away, Azazel isn’t talking to me, and I’m starting to realize that maybe I’m toxic…”

“Oh yeah you one are one hundred percent, grade A toxic. Like hazmat level,” she agreed. It felt as if she ripped my heart from my chest and ran it through a blender. “But that’s who youare. It’s part of the reason why I stay bonded to you…because Ilikeit.”

Was she joking? “You should hate me. From day one, I’ve been a selfish bastard to you.”

Her full belly laugh was a bit off putting, but it was better than being whacked upside the head, so I’d take it. “You literally told me your obsession with me is more than love ever could be, of course you’re toxic. But your possessiveness, passion, arrogance, and stalkerish tendencies are part of the reason you’re mine. A therapist would have a field day with our relationship, but I keep you because I like who you are.”

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