Page 21 of Found In Destruction

“Not really, but I don’t have a choice right now. The compound is a limited space, and I have to make do with what I have.”

Mal laughed, his smile wide as his thumb stroked my hand. “You sound like Lucifer when you talk all diplomatic like that.”

I fake gagged, then bit the bullet and opened the door. Desmond, Ares, and Bash were all sitting on the couch, watching a wrestling match on TV. They were all wearing gray sweatpants, because they knew what those devil pants did to me, the fuckers. and I made sure to focus on their faces, and not their packages. Or Ares’ bare chest. Or Bash’s smoldering gaze.

“Welcome back Little Goddess!” Ares shouted as he vaulted up from the couch and waved his hand, revealing a ginormous bouquet of pink and white flowers. The roses, carnations, tulips, and lilies smelled amazing. I had never been a flower kind of girl, but the arrangement was beautiful, even if it was gifted to me in guilt.

He handed them to me, and I awkwardly took them. “Um, thank you?”

I had no clue what to say, because flowers wouldn’t make what he did any less fucked up. They wouldn’t erase the pain or repair our shattered trust. He tried to hug me, but I stepped back.

Bash joined him. “Good to have you back. We took the liberty of stocking your closet with some new clothes and shoes, since you came back with less items than you packed for your…vacation. There are also some of your favorite snacks in the pantry and some meals Nonna and Angie made in the refrigerator.”

His voice sounded smoothly posh and had its usual dryness. But his face was a mess of emotions. Little black veins sprouted at his temples. I wasn’t used to dealing with such an unconfident version of him.

“Thank you.” I scanned the room, frowning when I realized Azazel wasn’t here to see me. Of all the guys, my feelings toward him were the most screwed up. “Where’s Azazel?”

“He’s out, but you’ll see him at the meeting Lucifer set for tonight,” Desmond assured me. “It’s good to have you home, where you belong. We all missed you, dollface.”

My knee-jerk reaction was to tell him I would have been home, had they all treated me with respect and not been such jackasses. Instead, I gave him a sickly sweet smile before placing the flowers on the counter and going to my room. I locked the door behind me, spelling the entirety of the room so no one but Mal could fade in.

The space wasalmostthe same as when I left it. The same navy linens were on the bed, and my last read was on the nightstand. The hamper was empty, though. When I looked in the closet, the clothes hung next to the new selections Bash had mentioned. They picked a little bit of everything—activewear, dresses, casual clothes, and a few business selections. The rack on the far wall was filled with new shoes. Toward the end of the rack, some of the guy’s clothes were hung. I took one of Azazel’s hoodies off the rack. It was the one he gave me a day after we moved here. I was so shaken from losing Nonna, it felt like the entire world was crumbling around me. He put it on me,wrapping my fragile ass up in his arms, and laid in bed with me through the night.

He probably knew about my mom while he held me and listened to me cry about how the woman who raised me was missing. The whole time I fell apart in his arms, baring my soul to him, he betrayed me. Looked me dead in the fucking face and lied.

I teleported a cardboard box from the back of the closet to the hallway, then magicked the hoodie into it. I combed the entire room for any of the guys’ things, except Mal’s, and got rid of them. I didn’t need the constant reminders of them hanging around.

There’s a box of your things in the hallway. Feel free to take them,I mindlinked them.

Wait, what?Ares replied. I shut my mindlink down to the four of them so they couldn’t reach me.

The meeting would start in a few hours, so I changed into some pajamas and curled up in bed. Left with only my thoughts, I came to the realization that if I was going to survive living here, weakness wouldn’t cut it. This needed to be a new era for me, one where I’d have to be strong enough for myself. Desmond, Bash, Ares, and Azazel had proven to me that they couldn’t be my safe space any longer. Circumstances forced me to live with them and fight this war together, but I refused to forgive them, no matter how hard they tried to weasel their way in. I’d have to be strong and independent enough to handle whatever was thrown at me, because relying on them wasn’t an option.

Lucifer kept telling me to act like a Morningstar, so guess what, Daddy Dearest? I’d act like a Morningstar and shine bright enough on my own that I’d never need them again.

I slept like a rock,but I still felt exhausted. The only silver lining about my magic being unstable was having no issue facing and staying asleep, despite the raging, whirlwind of my thoughts. I heard mumbling and movement in the living room and focused my sonic hearing to see what was going on.

“She’s been asleep for a while. Should one of you wake her up?”Azazel asked.

“I faded in to check on her an hour ago, and she has an alarm set. If she sleeps through it, I’ll wake her.”Mal got up and walked a short distance, then I heard a clank in the kitchen sink.

“You’re the only one who can get in there. I tried to break in and see her, but the wards she made are air-tight.Ares’ melancholy tone hit me hard.“I haven’t seen her in months and I miss her.”

I heard his soft crying, and a pang of hurt rippled through my chest. I missed him too, but I couldn’t forgive him for trying to get me pregnant.

Well, you know what to do. You have to prove you’re a better man, that you’ve changed. You all do.Mal sticking up for me should have made me happy, but it only reminded me why he had to do so in the first place. I hated that he was in the middle of everything, like a gatekeeper.

Eavesdropping wasn’t doing me any good. Walking into my closet, I searched for something that would be nice enough for a meeting, but comfortable. I felt like a steaming hot pile of garbage. I found a black shirt-dress with a collar and golden buttons. The tie front snatched my waist, and even though I felt gross, this dress made me look fierce. I dipped my hand into the pockets and pulled out a note.

I had no clue when Mal would have found the time to write me a love note between healing, being in my hospital room around the clock, and catching up with everything that happened in our absence. A rush of anticipation raced through me—he wrote the most romantic notes. I opened the thick cardstock and noticed that his handwriting seemed a bit off.

Diana,

I remember the first time I saw you in person. I was watching you from across the street as you stormed out of your house. You were so furious that you caused an earthquake. This was before you had control of your full powers, before you met me. You were fiery, chaotic, and so beautiful that it took every ounce of self-control to stay in the car instead of abducting you and dragging you back home on the spot.

That was the moment I knew, without a doubt, that you were mine. Forever. Through ups, downs, and all the rest. We’re going through a down right now, because I fucked up. But know that I won’t give up. I’m the God of War, and one lost battle doesn’t mean there’s no hope. I’ll fight for you until the world ceases to exist. I’ll become a better man for you—be everything you need me to be. If I have to tear myself apart and fit the pieces back together, so be it.

Love you, Little Goddess <3

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