Page 17 of Found In Destruction

“No, that’s okay. You should go so we don’t have any more unexpected visitors,” I whispered in his ear. He kissed my forehead and faded away.

I waited a few seconds to make sure he was gone before I started to cry. Desmond’s words slashed that broken part of me barely healed and reopened the wound. I hugged one of my pillows and curled into a ball, practicing the breathing techniques Mal taught me. My body and magic were still healing, and I couldn’t afford to have another power surge that could mess up my progress. After several minutes, exhaustion washed over me, and I fell asleep.

A muffledvoice woke me up. I cracked my eyes and was assaulted by bright light from the overhead lighting in my room. My hand touched something large and furry next to me, and I froze. Mal had left earlier, and he wasn’t this…hairy.

Please, don’t be Ares.

If seeing Desmond wrecked me that badly, I wouldn’t stand a chance with Ares. A panting sound from behind me made me roll over. Feta’s warm, wet tongue licked my cheek as his ears perked up with excitement. Ares may have been persona non grata, but Feta was always a welcomed sight, even if the massive Cerberus barely fit in my bed despite his shrunken form. He rolled into me, demanding cuddles and pets and I was too happy to oblige. The texture of his glossy black fur was relaxing. Focusing on him was better than being alone with my racing mind. It was akin to being eaten by wolves, and I hated how the dark, intrusive thoughts always came when I least expected them to.

A throat clearing from the other side of my bed startled me. My magic must have undergone some extensive damage if I didn’t feel someone else’s presence. When I sat up, I immediately wished I hadn’t. Lucifer sat next to my bedside with a hot coffee, an iced coffee and a hardback book, reading it as if he had nowhere else to be. His facial expression was calm, but the very sight of him had my stomach roiling with nerves.

Something I realized during my time away was that my father was a million different men. He was the Prince of Darkness. The Devil. The fallen angel. He was one of the most powerful and notorious supernatural beings of all time. His exploits were legendary, and I wasn’t even sure which were true.He ruled Hell for thousands of years before he stepped down. That was his public persona.

But privately, he was an enigma. We shared countless meals together, spent countless hours in meetings, and I helped him build a resistance, yet I somehow barely knew him. I know he cared about me, but not if it outweighed my being the crown jewel to his dynasty. The same man who taught me how to level an entire battlefield was the same man who babied Ares’ dog, Feta, and requested him special meals from the kitchen. The same man who had dozens of children with women across time was the same man who was supposedly in love with my other father and broke his heart every day.

There were so many contradictions wrapped in one that I wondered if he even knew himself.

I stared at him, unsure of what to say. Mal said that he, Ares, and Azazel came back through time to save me from what could have been a very dangerous fate. I should thank him, but he kept my mother from me. He let me think she was dead for years, and I’d still think she was gone if it were up to him still. Some irrational, rageful part of me blamed him for her death in some odd way. And even though Lucifer treated him like shit, Michael had made a good point in his favor while we were on our…vacation—the attack on her wasn’t his fault. He did the best he could by keeping her in limbo while searching for a way to fix her.

Where he went wrong was keeping it from me.

“A good way to start this conversation may be ‘Hello Dad, thank you for coming to save your favorite child from my own magic eating me alive. I missed you so much, because you’re the coolest Dad ever’.” He said in a half-way decent impression of me.

I laughed for the first time since I came back, I full-on cackled. His arrogance was unrivaled. How did he manage to fit through the door to my hospital suite with a head so big?

“Michael is a cool as fuck father. I’m also not sure I want to thank you…”

He sighed as he put his book on the table and handed me the iced coffee. The sweet taste of cream and caramel was welcomed, as I felt exhausted. “Ungrateful brats, the pair of you. Oisín has barely even side eyed me since he got back.” His flippant, joking tone had an undercurrent of hurt.

“I don’t even know where to start with you. I’ve been gone so long, dreading seeing the guys, that I barely even thought about you…”

He put his hand over his heart and leaned back. His face twisted in mock pain. “Oof, keep the shots coming, Diana. Good thing you can’t kill your old man.”

“Yeah, but you killed any trust we had between us.” Somehow, I gathered the energy that had escaped me previously. My tone was calm, because crying and yelling at him wasn’t worth it. I had no more tears left.

“I had my reasons for doing what I did.” His answer wasn’t enough for me.

“I can’t work with you and move past this unless you tell me everything. Why did you keep something so devastating from me? Why didn’t you tell me so we could fix it together?”

“I think I need to start from the beginning for it to make sense,” he took a deep breath then leaned forward in his chair. “I loved your mother and missed you both, but the original plan was to stay away for your safety. I couldn’t do it though. I’d watch you both from afar and when I couldn’t stand staying away too long, I’d change my appearance and see her again.”

His reminiscent smile turned into a grim frown. “We started dating again, and went to this Italian hole-in-the-wall she loved,Caramino’s. She was joking about how I’d have to roll her out of there because she ate so much pasta…” He cleared his throat, shifting in his chair.

“Go on.” I needed to know the whole story.

“She wanted to enjoy the fall weather on our trip back to her house. Marilyn was an all-consuming presence—you could get absorbed in her, and I was completely and utterly besotted—so I didn’t see the men walking toward us until it was too late. They weren’t hired, low level thugs. Whoever tried to kill her had a deep, ancient magic that worked quickly. She was dying, and I put her in equilibrium to keep her alive. I spelled your family to believe that she was cremated and hid her in a safe location.

“For decades I tried to find a way to cure her without risking her death by reanimating her. Then I got trapped in the stone. When you freed me, you became my first priority. I wanted to ensure your safety. Then I thought about it…you didn’t have a father growing up. You lost your mother, too. Telling you about this would mean losing her twice, because I can’t find a way to bring her back.”

I let his words sink in. He seemed genuine, but he left out a key piece of the puzzle. “And telling me would take my focus away from the war.”

“Yes, it would have. It did. I told you, your safety is my first priority. You can’t train if you’re grieving. I’m not going to send you into battle distracted, because that’s as good as a defeat. Do you understand how dangerous this is, Diana? There’s a fate worse than death if you fail.”

I had never thought of it that way. Mulling over every word he said, I realized that although his actions hurt, his motives were from good intentions.

“I’m sorry. Please know that I did this to protect you. I convinced Azazel to lie to you because he wanted to protect you,too. You take all the time you need to forgive me.” He rose to stand.

“Wait…” He stopped in the doorway, then came to sit at the edge of my bed. “I want to see her. And even though we’ll be training, we need to continue to search for ways to bring her back,” I demanded.

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