Page 6 of Reckless Vow

His words hit me with a wave of regret. Is he telling me I should have made more effort over the years? That my mommy valued family and I didn’t?

“Don’t worry, Daddy, I can find a fake husband and flip her off.” It’s easier to crack a joke than to face the truth.

We both laugh, but Dad gets serious. “I’m sorry I drew you away. It’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.”

So he isn’t blaming me, but himself. God, why do I always project blame on myself?

No blinking can save me anymore and a tear escapes, rolling warmly down my cheek. “You didn’t—”

“I had my hand in the way things turned out back then and I’m sorry about it. I hope to stick around for many more years, but this illness has made me realize what’s what. Time with people who matter is up there as the most important thing. And I robbed us both of that. And I’m afraid I might have robbed you of more than father/daughter time.”

I can’t stand facing him, so I scoot closer and lie beside him. He wraps his arm around me and I rest my cheek on his chest.

This way, I can let the stupid tears fall.

Is he right? I’ve never assigned much responsibility to him for what happened before I left New York.

That one night when he caught us kissing, he was trying to protect me. It was just normal parental behavior. Protecting his baby girl.

At seventeen, I didn’t recognize it as such, but in retrospect even if he hadn’t caught us, things would have turned out the same regardless.

There is another man to blame for what happened. Not that I care anymore. It’s been too long.

But now I’m thinking about that kiss and my body gets all warm, and I want to sit up and step away because being aroused—am I aroused?—while I’m hugging my dad is the last thing I want to feel.

“I’m here now, Daddy. My decision to stay in England after my graduation had nothing to do with you. I only wish I would have come home more often.”

But I was scared. Too scared to spend any time in this house filled with memories I fought long and hard to bury as deep as possible.

I’m still avoidinghisroom and it’s been almost ten years. Some things can’t be fixed with any amount of therapy.

Dad doesn’t respond, and after a moment, wrapped in the memories I wished I could erase, I realize his breathing has evened out.

I lift my head and sure enough he’s dozed off. Standing up carefully, I kiss his cheek and leave the room.

“How are you feeling, kitten?” I hear Finn ask Paris as I come downstairs.

“I discovered I have an evil grandmother, but otherwise we’re good. Hunter and Dom are pouring through the will if you want to join them.” She sighs.

While I was gone, Syd’s fiancé must have also arrived. I head to the kitchen to join my sisters and Mom.

They are gathered around the large square kitchen island, drinking Mom’s lemonade. I guess the men are in the sitting room with the damn binder.

“Dad fell asleep.” I open a cabinet to get a wine glass. Fuck the lemonade.

“Here, darling.” Mom hands me a bottle of Chardonnay. “Anyone else?”

The three other women refuse. I’m not sure what Syd’s reason is, but Lo doesn’t drink because Dom abstains, and Paris obviously doesn’t drink because she’s pregnant.

I raise the bottle toward Mom, but she shakes her head.

Once again the outsider, I pour myself a generous portion and gulp it down, trying to make a point.

Not sure what point, but here we are. They expect me to act out, so I do.

I lift the bottle for a refill when the doorbell sounds. Mom frowns and leaves to get the door. She normally has a housekeeper to do it, but when family is home, she always sends the housekeeper away early.

London scoffs at me and opens her mouth, but then thinks better of it. Like for a moment, she actually recognized that I might need some liquid reinforcement.

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