She squares her shoulders and grins—her very best fake grin that I still recognize—and shrugs. “But I want a huge rock.”
Chapter5
Baldo
London snorts. “Then it’s settled. Figure out the details and let’s all get married.” She rolls her eyes but cozies up to Dominic.
The three couples say good bye and leave.
“I’ll go find Mom,” I say, before the complications of being alone with Brook dig their claws into me.
Fuck, how are we going to be married if I can’t stand the idea of being alone with her?
Though in the hour since I arrived, my mind has been exploring all the ways I’d like to spend alone time with her, including bending her over the counter.
Not helpful, dear brain. Staying mad at her and away from her was the best move ever, but I guess we can’t all get smarter with age.
One look at her and I’m a certifiable idiot, thrown back into my ridiculous obsession.
“That’s a good idea. I’ll be in my room.” She dashes out of the kitchen.
I’ll be in my room?That sounded almost like an invitation. We need to discuss where we go from here, but does she want me to come upstairs?
Can I cope with all thatthe upstairsholds in the form of memories, broken dreams, flattened fantasies and unfulfilled passions?
Perhaps I don’t need to discover my limits today.Coward.
I cross the foyer, hoping Mom is in the library. The light under the door confirms that some things have not changed.
The surprise is that she isn’t in her reading corner.
The room is dim and the three floor-to-ceiling bookshelves with any and all literature available to man make the room even darker.
Especially at night when the only source of natural light, the picture window overlooking our backyard, isn’t available.
That’s where I find her. Standing by the window, Mom stares into the darkness.
For a moment, my mind transports me back to my childhood. I used to sit on the floor here and play while she read. And I was summoned here anytime I was in trouble.
And let’s face it, out of all eight of us, I was here the most. Mom let Micah discipline his daughters, and my older brothers were smarter in their mischief.
Or perhaps I was crying for more attention.
God, the shit I used to stir.
“It’s nice to have you here. I worried the day would never come.” Mom turns to face me. “What brought you back?”
She walks to the corner and takes a seat in her reading chair, gesturing to the love seat at her side.
“Business.” I take the seat, hating how strained the air is with unasked questions and unanswered ones.
“You should have come sooner.” The words reek of admonition, but her tone is filled with sadness.
Like she understands I couldn’t. Like she knows that in some ways she chose Micah over me. And while that didn’t push me away, it still kept us apart. I don’t know anymore. It’s been too long.
“I’m sorry about Micah.”
I’m talking about his illness, but once it’s out, it feels like more than that. Am I sorry for all that other shit? Another thing I don’t know anymore.