“Well, one rejection was enough. You made it clear you didn’t want to have anything to do with me.”
What the hell? All the contrasting feelings collide inside me, exploding.
“If you really cared, you would have come back for me. You would have returned home to see why I didn’t show up. You would have been there to help me.”
“I did come back!”
Chapter32
Baldo
Brook follows her sharp intake of breath with a soft, pained whimper, and jerks her head as if I slapped her. “What are you talking about?”
I was half hard all afternoon, thinking about finding her in the lingerie and playing with that damn toy.
The day has been torture, thinking about her constantly. If I don’t focus on my job, who even am I?
I have two obsessions in my life: Brook and my work. But somehow once the first one became part of my life, no space has been left for the other.
We stare at each other in a silent duel. Confused and hurt. That’s how she looks. And if I’m honest with myself—not that I’ve been practicing that much—that’s exactly how I feel.
“I’m talking about you choosing the family. Choosing your dad.” She flinches at each word. It gives me no satisfaction, and yet I can’t help myself. “Giving up on us before we even had a chance.”
It’s like I want to share the heavy load of guilt. To blame her, so I can absolve myself. It’s not working. Not even a bit, but I can’t take the words back.
Her bottom lip quivers, but she straightens her spine. “I chose you.”
Could I have it all wrong? “I stayed in the hotel overnight, then I paid for another night. You weren’t answering your phone, so I went back home.”
She plasters her hand over her mouth and gasps. “You came back?”
A steamroller of realization flattens all my previous assumptions as that afternoon plays in my head.
“Where have you been?” Dad demanded, not even letting me past the threshold.
“I’m back, aren’t I?” My teenage self responded, annoyed by his treatment. He hadn’t been hostile, but certainly reserved since he had caught us kissing.
“You’re not welcome here,” he whisper-yelled at me.
I looked over his shoulder and my eyes met Mom’s. A couple of feet behind Dad, she had tears brimming in her eyes, both hands clasped to her chest. But she didn’t interfere when Dad stepped outside and closed the door behind him.
“What are you doing? This is my house.”
He stared at me with a mixture of regret, pain and anger. “Not anymore.”
“Let me see Brook.” I didn’t care about his opinion anymore. I needed to see her. To find out what happened.
“Son, she doesn’t want to see you. I think it’s best for everybody that you stay away.”
“No, no.” Brook shakes her head. “Dad wouldn’t…” Tears roll down her cheeks. She keeps shaking her head, as if denying the truth might make the outcome digestible.
“He did. And Mom let him.”
The words are final, as painful said out loud as they were silent, spinning in my head for almost a decade.
“No, no, I can’t believe…” She doesn’t finish the sentence, her eyes pleading with me, but also becoming resigned to the bitter truth. “Baldo, oh my God. That’s why Mom didn’t want Dad to know we got married. They never approved. They kicked you out. They will never approve.”
“I don’t need their approval.”