Page 72 of Eden's Joker

“No, you’re really not,” he says as we start walking. “Why can’t you just be a good little captive?”

“You wouldn’t like me like that,” I say and lean on him more. Moving one foot in front of the other is taking most of my concentration and my strength. But somehow, as I lean on him, I feel him giving me some of his.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t,” he says after a very long pause.

His voice sounds like it’s coming from very far away. And like he’s not actually talking to me. So I don’t say anything, just lean on him a little more. I can see his home in the distance. And I can’t wait to be inside it. Even if it is my prison.

38

Joker

My arm’s not just burning now, it’s also bleeding again. The cut on Eden’s forehead is bleeding too. Half her face is covered in blood, some dried, some fresh. And if I didn’t know it before, I know now. I’ll never be the cause of her bleeding.

She can barely stand but she’s tugging on my shirt and cut, trying to get them off to get to the source of my bleeding.

“Sit down, Eden,” I tell her.

I had to carry her the last few yards to the house and onto the sofa, but as soon as she opened her eyes again and saw the blood on my arm she was up, trying to tend to me.

“Don’t you have a doctor or something?” she asks. “Call him. You’re hurt.”

“So are you,” I tell her. “And as soon as the medic is done with Brick, he’s gonna see to you.”

“Let me see,” she insists. “I have to apply pressure to stop the bleeding.”

I can just tell she’s not gonna take no for an answer. She never seems to, anyway. So I do as she wants, take my shirt and cut off and then sit her down in my lap and let her clumsily press the shirt over the bleeding graze on my upper arm. It makes it hurt worse, but her soft body in my lap makes me feel good, so the two cancel each other out. Maybe the latter actually tips the scales towards good. Never in a million years did I imagine that would happen when I planned Mission Eden. So it’s no wonder I have no frame of reference to understand it now.

But one thing I do know.

Mission Eden is no longer about destroying her. Now it’s about keeping her. And for that, I need to speak to my men. Make them see it my way again. But after the shit Brick and the other two pulled tonight, I don’t know if I can.

“Thank you for saving me,” she says. “I’m sorry you got shot.”

“This isn’t from tonight. I got shot fighting your father and his friends,” I say. The fluttering gasp that escapes her lips and her wide eyes full of anguish as she looks up at me, hurt worse than taking a bullet.

“Is he… did you… “

“Kill him? No,” I say. “Not for lack of tryingthough. But you were right. The Devils are bulletproof.”

I’ll never have her while she loves them. Or while I hate them. I’ll never stop hating them. Or stop wanting her.

That circle of pain starts playing in my head and won’t stop. Not even having her in my lap is helping anymore.

“Let me go home,” she says. “Then the killing will stop.”

And that request hurts worse than a hail of bullets hitting my chest. And clears my head. If I let her go, I’ll never again have her. But I don’t have her now either. I’m just possessing her. And that’s not the same thing. Not by a long shot.

“How do you figure that, Eden?” I ask. “They’ll want revenge either way and they’ll come and get it. Like they always do.”

“You just want revenge too,” she says. “Isn’t that why I’m here?”

“It’s why you came here, yeah,” I say.Not why you’re gonna stay.But I don’t say that. We’re not on the same side. No amount of pretending will ever be enough to make me unsee that.

“I can convince them not to come after you,” she says. “Not to seek revenge.”

I scoff, amazed at the fact that a part of me actually wants her to try.

“All this killing,” she says. “All this blood and pain.It’s gotta stop. I want it to stop. Let it stop with me. Please.”

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