Page 26 of Eden's Joker

“I’m sorry, I should’ve just let you gift me the books,” she says. “I’m so used to everyone always complaining that I already have too many books, so it was just a knee jerk reaction. I really appreciate yourgift. And it was really thoughtful of you to bring me here.”

She talks a lot when she’s nervous. Which I think my silence and piercing look is making her. I should lighten up. But between getting so vividly reminded of who she really is and the failed attempt at giving her what she loves the most—books—I’m not in a good place. It’s also more than a little unnerving how well she can read me.

“I figured you’d get a kick out of that old bookstore,” I say. “But I wanted to keep it a surprise.”

“By letting me stumble on it,” she says. “Clever.”

“That part went according to plan, at least,” I say and finally manage to grin. “But what I really wanted was to get you the Alice in Wonderland book in the window. You don’t have that one yet, right?”

She shakes her head, her eyes softening. “No, I don’t. And that’s incredibly thoughtful…”

The waiter coming back interrupts whatever else she was gonna say and I could punch him because of that.

We end up getting spaghetti like she suggested, just not to share. He also lights the candle on the table for us and brings a basket of garlic bread. Good thing we’re sitting next to an open window.

“So you’re an expert on booksandcartoons,” I say once he’s gone again.

She laughs that wind chime laugh of hers. “Hardly.I just seem to have a very good memory for visual images.”

Yeah, me too. Like sitting in the back of that packed-to-the-brim car watching my parents die. The shot that killed my mom sounds loud and clear in my mind. No idea why. I’m not in danger here and it only happens when I am.

“What does that mean?” I say, hoping it didn’t come out too harshly. After the mental image I just saw, it was hard forcing the words out like everything’s normal.

“Oh, you know, just scenes from movies and cartoons, and even books if they’re described vividly enough,” she says. “I just sort of see them. I’m not making any sense, am I?”

I shrug. “I didn’t watch a whole lot of cartoons growing up.”

There I go again. Getting too personal. Why?

“What, no piesandno cartoons?” she asked, her tone somewhere between pity and something even sadder. “I’m sorry.”

“That my childhood sucked?” I ask. “Not your fault.”

Although, you will be paying for it.

For some reason, that thought doesn’t bring me the same kind of dark joy it used to before I actually met her.

“I fixed the pie issue and I’m gonna fix this too,” she says determinedly. “For ournext date, we’re watching cartoons. Starting with The Lady and the Tramp.”

I cringe and she laughs again. “I saw that one. Or maybe just the picture book.”

“All right then, something else.”

“How about Beauty and the Beast?” I ask.

She grins. “One of my favorites. You know, for a guy who didn’t watch cartoons growing up, you sure know a lot about them.”

“Maybe I just wasn’t the cartoon watching type,” I say and sit back as the waiter brings our food.

Thing is, some of the foster homes I was in were better than others. At some we actually did get to watch cartoons. At others, we were too busy always watching the doors.

None of which is something I want to be remembering right now, because it makes it hard to play this part with Eden. To do this song and dance.

“Plus, you’re just assuming we’re going on another date,” I say.

She was just bringing a forkful of spaghetti to her mouth but froze and is now looking at me with her full lips shaped into a perfect circle. Cock-sucking lips. I bet they’ll feel divine wrapped around mine. She actually looks disappointed, poor thing. If she knew what was waiting for her, she’d run so fast the other way I’d have trouble catching her.

“You don’t want to?” she asks. “Was it all the talk about books? Did I turn you off with that?”

---