Page 105 of Broken Empire

Ihave two little livesI’llneed to look after in a few months when they get here, and if he could cause me so much suffering the way he did, would he snap and somehow hurt them too?Imean,Hunterdid say he was falling off the deep end…

Whatthe hell doIdo now?Ican’t put my babies at risk of being hurt by him, which in turn hurts me.Ilove him.Idon’t think he’d ever do anything to harm them butIalso never thought he’d do anything to harm me either.

“Baby,” he says in a guttural drawl of his voice. “Howcould you thinkI’dhurt the baby?Whetherit’s mine or not,I’lllove him or her with everythingI’vegot.Nothingthat happened was your fault, soIwould never blame you or abuse you because the baby isn’t mine.I’llspend the rest of my life taking care of you and our baby.”

“It’snot yours though.Howcan you raise another man’s baby?”

“BecauselikeIsaid, it wasn’t your fault nor was it the baby’s fault.I’lladopt him or her the day you give birth because it’s always going to be our baby.Ilove you so much andI’mso fucking sorry for every bad and horrendous thingIever did and said to you,” he says getting down onto his knees. “I’mbegging you here on my knees to please forgive me.I’llnever hurt you ever again andI’dnever hurt our baby.Andif you need to bring up whatIdid every single day for the rest of our lives, thenI’lltake it.I’lltake any kind of punishment you want to give me if you just come home where you belong.IpromiseI’vechanged.Ifyou come home, thenIpromise to give you all the space you need.I’llleave you to work on whatever you need to at your own pace and stay out of your way, but please just do it at home.Ineed you there to survive becauseI’mbarely hanging on by a thread here…” he says with tears falling down his cheeks and it breaks my fucking heart so much that tears also start to roll down my face.

“Okayjust give me a week more here and thenI’llcome back,”Itell him.

“IpromiseI’llstay out of your way until you decide to forgive me,” he tells me before getting up off his knees and walking over to kiss me on the forehead before leaving.

“Forwhat it’s worth, he genuinely does show remorse at what he’s done andIdon’t think he’d ever hurt the babies.Whydid you tell him they — well you only told him about one—weren’t his?”Adelaideasks.Fora momentIalmost forgot that she was even here.

“Iwanted to hurt him.Iwanted to see how he would react to the possibility that the babies weren’t his.Iwanted…Idon’t fucking know anymore.I’mjust so fucking tired of this push and pull of not being sure ifI’mmaking the right decision or not.ImeanIstill love him so so much andIcan see he’s struggling butIalso need to make sure that whatever decisionIend up making, guarantees my babies will be safe and cared for,”Itell her letting out a long sigh and crashing on the couch.

“Forwhat it’s worthIthink he’d make a great father.I’vebeen through some shit where my stepmother is concerned.Sheeven murdered my father…”

“Whatthe hell?”Isay in a gasp. “I’mso sorry.”

“Don’tbe.It’staken care of already.Butthe pointIwant to make is that beforeIescaped her clutches, she was so manipulative, doing shit to make me react andIdid so many times.Imean when someone is being targeted, there’s only so much a person can take before they snap.I’mtrying to say thatMason’sfather was like that and he pushed and pushed until he got his desired outcome.I’mnot saying whatMasondid was right but just know that he probably wouldn’t have done any of the things he did if he wasn’t being constantly pushed by things he couldn’t see in the form of his father’s manipulation.Ithink he has learned from it and he’s sincere about you two.Nowthe only question is can you live without him?BecauseIcan see the signs from experience and he’s about at the end of his rope.Idon’t think he’d snap and hurt you butIdo think if he thinks you won’t ever forgive him then he might injure himself to get rid of that pain…”

“Whydoes it have to hurt so much?”Iask her with more tears streaming down my face.

“Loveusually does.It’sup to you now, if you’ll let go of the past or let go of him.Youhave a lot to think about babe soI’llleave you to it.I’llsendHunterso you’re not alone.Loveyou,” she says, giving me a kiss on the cheek. “Raincheckon our girls’ day?”

“Loveyou too!Andthanks for letting me stay at yours and for being here for me even thoughIknow how busy you are and yes raincheck.”

“You’rewelcome at my home anytime babe.AndI’llnever be too busy for you, ever.You’reone of my bestest friends in the entire world.I’mgladIfound you on that rock that night, so many what feels like light years ago now,” she says with a laugh and it has me laughing too because it does feel like forever ago when she found me that night.

“I’mglad you found me too…”

MASON

Iwalk outof her hotel room with my heart cracked wide open and bleeding as she stomped on it.Mysoul has finally been shredded to pieces.Afterwhat went down just now between us,Ifeel likeIdon’t have anything left to live for anymore…

Mygirl is pregnant and from the looks of things she’s quite a few months along and she didn’t even bother to tell me about it.Imean would she ever have ifIdidn’t walk in and see her baby bump for myself?

Instead, she ran away—a whole ocean away—from me and hid it.I’mpretty sure she might have already known she was pregnant before she left me again.

That’snot the part that hurts the most though.It’sthe fact that she still thinksI’ma monster after allI’vedone to show her differently.Andit really fucking gutted me when she said she thoughtI’dhurt the baby she was carrying.

LikeI’msuch a fucking beast in her eyes, she thinksI’dhurt an innocent baby!Obviously,I’mnot mad or anything at her.Noneof whatAntoniodid was her fault.Imeant whatIsaid about that baby being mine because it is.Iwould have taken care of that baby like it was my own flesh and blood and then we would have had more of own too, butInever saw her words coming…

WhenI’dhad enough of stalking her since that just wasn’t cutting it anymore,Idecided to just say fuck it and go up to see her.Inever in a million years thoughtI’dleave there flayed open and bleeding like that.Butshe’s well and truly killed my soul now.

IknowIdon’t have anyone to blame but myself in the first place but haven’tIpaid for my sins enough already?Haven’tIdone whatIcould to show her thatI’vechanged and thatI’mtrying to be a better man for her?Haven’tIbled enough to show her how sorryIam for allIdid?Iguess not, becauseI’mwell and truly done now.Itjust doesn’t fucking matter anymore.

AllIhave left to do now is head home and set things into place for whenI’mgone.Ilied to her just now.Ilied whenIsaid she could bring up whatIdid every single day if she had to andIwould have taken it all every day as long as she forgave me butIcan’t.Iwon’t be able to bear hearing whatIdid to her, every day.Itdoesn’t look like she has any plans on ever forgiving me anyway, and that shit hurts more thanIcan bear.

I’mso lost in my thoughts, just going through the motions thatI’mnot even watching whereI’mgoing.Ijust step off the elevator mindlessly and bump intoHunter.

“Heybro, you okay?” he asks with concern in his voice.

“Yeah.I’mfine,”Isay, trying to hide my emotions as my throat closes up with the urge to cry. “Yoursister is finally coming home next week.”

“That’sgreat news.Areyou staying here until next week then?”

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