Page 19 of Nocte

My throat tenses around a swallow. Oh, how he unnerves me. I start to back away, toward the safety of the bell tower. Then I remember.

My question. My heart races and my tongue dances, poised to ask it. Eyeing the vamryre, I say instead, “Don’t let me fall.”

His eyes narrow a fraction. “I won’t.”

He will. Even as I shuffle close to the roof’s edge, I can see that he never moves. Doesn’t even twitch. Still, I throw myself forward anyway. A little pain will be well worth it if he answers my question.

So, I brace…but the cold, hard impact never comes. I’m cold, then hot all over. His hands are on me, his arms so rigid the embrace hurts. His skin is ice, his gaze electric, igniting the skin of my neck. I hear him breathe as he sets me down. A harsh inhale. A hiss. An audible swallow.

My entire body quivers, though I’m not sure why. It could be shock. No one has ever touched me. Now this. He held me in his arms, just for a second before scuttling back as if I burned him. Did I burn him?

My eyes sweep over his hands, but they’re unblemished. Perfect, even. His flawless skin seems to mock me with a quality I will never achieve. I wouldn’t blame him if he cringed at the sight of me.

I look up into his eyes.

He is oh so very hungry.

“Caspian,” I say, tasting his name. It’s dangerous, like having live embers on my tongue.

He winces at the sound. Grimaces. Sneers. “LittleNeeve,” he replies, stressing the wrong syllable.

I say nothing. It’s strange to hear someone call me that out loud. Even Day doesn’t know it. I don’t think I could tell him. He calls me sister and that is a gift enough. It would be wrong to expect more. Ask for more.

But near this vamryre, I find the strength to say, “I want to know something.”

His nostrils wrinkle as his eyes narrow again. Then widen. “You want.” I think it sounds mocking at first. Then my mind replays his tone and I decide he sounded cold instead.Want.He said it the way Day did when he spoke of our sister Day Aurelia. Anger. Bitter. Jealous?

Of me. I’d laugh if his gaze wasn’t so stern. He pins me in place with that look. Holds it for so long I can’t breathe. He’ll drain me dry if I let him. I need to blink. Run. Anything.

I can’t move.

“Speak, little fae.” He advances a step, looming above me. His height is something I notice only now. With one blow he could strike me down. With one stride, he’d swallow at least four of mine. “What do you want?”

My throat trembles. I can almost hear the Lord Master scolding me from their place high up in the Citadel proper. Then I shake my head and remember: Lord Master isn’t here.

“I want to know if you’ve been beyond.”

“Beyond?” He cocks his head, his nose wrinkled. He is so strange. On him, curiosity is nearly indistinguishable from rage. He lives in anger and yet it suits him. Those cold, fiery features seem alight in the darkness. Day with his polished words and careful nature would warily ask me to continue.

Caspian, chin in the air, commands it. “Beyond where, little fae?”

I gesture blindly. “Beyond the realm. In the mortal world.” My mind races before I can help myself. Beyond the realm. These walls. This gray, dark solace. Beyond rules, and regulations, and stiff order.

“And if I have, why does it matter?” His smile is sweet, his gaze deadly. “You can never leave.”

I can’t and I know this. I know this.

It stings to hear him say it. It irritates.

“You can leave,” I toss back. “So, have you?”

However, I can see that he has not. His anger fades in favor of a brief, momentary glimpse of confusion. Has he left? He doesn’t know.

I suppose his master doesn’t let him question as much.

What a shame. I start to turn away. Lightning-quick, he lashes out and snatches my wrist, yanking me closer.

“Don’t turn your back on me,” he warns.

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