Page 34 of The Eraser

JESSICA

I whimperout a low moan as I turn. Christ, Dad really did a number on my ribs last night. My eyes open, and I quickly shut them again as I'm blinded by the light spilling in from the open curtains. Everything that happened last night rushes to me, and I sit up with a gasp as I realize I'm no longer at home. In fact, I remember Stephen holding me close.

Safety was all I felt when he held me. It's stupid, as I've seen firsthand how dangerous he is, but there's always been something calming and safe about Stephen. Maybe there's something wrong with me for thinking that way, but I can't deny that there's something about Stephen that puts me at ease.

I glance around the room, and I'm oddly surprised at how clean and feminine everything is. The soft, off-white walls, the matching dresser and table, not to mention the cream armchair in the corner of the room... It looks like a woman's room, not one that I'd expect Stephen to have.

"You're awake," I hear Stephen rumble. I glance at the door and see him leaning against the frame. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," I reply. "Where are we?"

"Home," he says simply. "You're in pain. You've been whimpering on and off all night. Every time you moved, you'd whimper. So I'm guessing that fucker hurt your ribs?"

I nod, knowing there's no point in lying. He's not stupid. "I'll be fine," I assure him. "I promise. The pain will go away eventually. Nothing’s broken, just bruised."

He moves from the door and comes to sit on the bed beside me. Having him this close is wreaking havoc with my emotions. He took care of me last night. Other than Mallory, no one else has ever taken care of me, not since Mam died.

"I've got a lot of questions," he says, and I sigh. I should have known he would have. "Why didn't you tell anyone about what was going on?"

I glance away, unable to stand the shame that's growing in my stomach. "Who was there to tell? Jerry or Maverick? They were the only ones around. No matter how cold I was to Jer, he was always around." I turn back to him, swallowing at the intense stare he has as he watches me. "What would have happened had I told them? They'd have killed him."

He raises a brow, almost as though he can't understand what I'm saying. "He'd have stopped."

"Would he have? Or would he have been angrier than he already was? My dad has always been an animal, Stephen. We've always known that. But when Mam died, it was as though a switch flipped inside of him. He became unrelenting. He hates being told what to do and he lives for power."

I watch as his jaw tenses. "Him being demoted from being Jer's right hand would have pissed him off."

I nod. "It did. He was so angry. But thankfully, he didn't hurt me for a while."

"Explain what you mean?" he asks, his voice harsh and filled with confusion.

"I don't understand why talking about this will help," I say, hoping and praying that I won't have to tell all of my secrets. It's bad enough that he's seen me beaten and vulnerable. I don't want him to uncover everything that's happened.

His cheek muscle twitches and his eyes darken. "The first time I saw you, you were fourteen and fucking broken," he says thickly. "Never, not fucking once, have I felt the urge of possessiveness that I felt the moment our hands touched. Watching you dance..." He shakes his head. "At fourteen, you were too fucking young, too damn innocent. I tried. For fucking years, I've tried to keep my distance, telling myself that you deserve better. You're a soft, sweet, kind person, everything I'm not."

"But you didn't stay away," I say quietly. "You've been watching me for years."

He nods. "I haven't been able to stay the fuck away. There's something about you, Little Dancer, something that makes me want so fucking much more. I couldn't keep my distance. I couldn't leave you alone. I had to know you were safe, and all along you haven’t been."

I glance down at my hands. That's a fucking lot to take in. I've always known that he's been watching me, that he's drawn to me, but the emotion in his voice is unlike anything I've ever heard. "I don't know what you want me to say. You've been hot and cold with me. You were my first kiss, my only kiss, and you left without a word. Now I'm here and I have no one left. He was my only family."

I've realized that the hatred I've held is down to my dad telling me that Mam died at the hands of the Kellys. I thought that Jer didn't give a crap, and in turn neither did the rest of the family, but the truth was, Dad is a liar. And for what? I don't know, but I want to find out. I feel awful that I've pushed Jer away so much when he was trying to help me. God, I feel so messed up right now.

I hate my dad, but he's all that I have. Jer and Maverick have tried to be around, but they have their own lives. I can't rely on them. I don't want them to feel burdened by me and that's what'll happen if they find out. They'll kill Dad.

"I know that," he says. "I know just how innocent you are. I've been holding back, not wanting to taint you."

I roll my eyes. "I was tainted a long time ago," I mutter.

His eyes narrow, but thankfully, he doesn't ask questions about what I said. "You have a choice," he says through clenched teeth. "Maverick has been here since last night. He's willing to take you away and keep you safe."

I look up at him and see the anger flashing in his dark brown eyes. He's not happy with my cousin. "What's the choice?" I ask calmly, even though my heart is racing.

"You can go with Maverick or you can stay here. No matter what, you'll have Maverick, Freddie, and I keeping you safe."

I swipe my tongue along my bottom lip as I try to think of what to say. "Do you want me to go with him?"

"No, but it's not up to me," he replies. "I can't make that decision for you."

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