Page 145 of Dark and Dangerous

His eyes catch mine, watching me for a long, long moment. “You’ve been researching?”

I crack a smile, grateful for the switch. “A little.”

“If it becomes too much, promise you’ll tell me.”

“I promise.” And now that that’s out of the way, I look back at all the bags on the bed, then face him again. “All of this is really sweet, Jace, but I don’t need any of it. Please don’t feel like you owe my anything or that this is my way of getting you back?—”

“So, youdon’twant to get back together?”

“I—” Obviously, I do, but I don’t want to add more pressure than he’s already under. “Do you?”

Dropping his arms to his side, he stands taller, then focuses on something behind me. After a beat, he clears his throat, says, “So… I was looking more into Texas Tech.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“They have a team psychologist. Maybe they can help me with the whole autism thing. I’ll make appointments as soon as school starts…” His gaze drops, so does his voice. “So that I can be better for you.”

My heart fails to beat… right before it falls to my stomach. I can barely speak through the sudden knot in my throat. “I don’t want you tobe betterfor me,” I choke out. “You’re perfect as you are, Jace.”

“But all those things you said when you broke up with me…”

I blink back my tears, caused by nothing but my own remorse. How long has he been holding on to this? Holding on to the pain my words have caused him. “I was hurting,” I admit. “I wanted to burn down the world around me, and you… you were the closest thing. I should’ve just communicated how I felt about the bet money from the very beginning, instead of letting it eat away at me and ending things between us.”

“Yeah, you should’ve,” he deadpans, and I can’t blame him for feeling this way.

“I can’t begin to tell you how much I regret the things I said when I broke up with you, and I’m so sorry those words ever came out of my mouth. Those things are what makes you who you are, and the reason I fell in love?—”

“I need you to show me your scars,” he interrupts.

My breath halts, every muscle inside me tensing at his words. And even though I know what he wants, still I ask, “Like, myemotionalscars?”

“No.”

My shoulders drop, causing my chest to cave in, and I shake my head, stare down at the floor now. “Jace…”

“I know,” he says, dropping to his knees in front of me. “And I’m sorry to ask, but Ineedto see them, Harlow. I can’t get it out of my fucking head—the image of you in your bathroom, doing what you were doing… I just—I’m traumatized by it, and I hate to put that on you, but I can’t keep going like this.”

A sob slips from my lips, and I hate that it does, because this isn’t about me ormyhealing. It’s abouthis.

“I can’t go ahead with this, unsure if that’s still a coping mechanism for you,” he says. “I don’t want to add more stress on your shoulders than what’s already there. You understand, right?”

I do, but I wish I didn’t. My therapist would scold me for the thought I’m currently drowning in—that Ihatemyself for the things I’ve put Jace through. But I can’t go back in time, and I can’t change the past. The only thing I can do is give him what he’s asking. What he deserves.

I wipe at my tears, my breaths shaky as I nod, then stand. “I haven’t done it since the day you saw me,” I whisper as Jace falls back on his haunches, his head tilted, eyes right on mine while I unfasten the button on my shorts, then slowly unzip. I turn slightly, just enough so my scars are facing him, and lower the waistband.

His gasp is soft, but loud enough that it reverberates in my ears. My mind. My heart.

The marks are mostly faded now, the lines slightly lighter than the untouched flesh around it. Jace reaches up, running the pad of his thumb over the scars, his face only inches away. I release a shaky breath and shut my eyes, letting the tears build up behind my closed lids. A quiet cry falls from my lips when I feel the warmth of his mouth against the evidence of my pain.

“Is it just one side?” he asks, and I cry harder as I shake my head. “Show me?”

I keep my eyes closed, unwilling to look at him when I turn, revealing my other hip to him. He repeats the process, his lips gentle as he kisses away my self-destruction. When he’s done, he rests his head against my stomach, and I hold him to me.

Time slows as we ride out our emotions, reveal them to each other with every beat of our hearts. With every touch we share. With every kiss he offers against my skin as he stands to full height, taking me in his arms, before finally kissing me.

He feels likehome.Like coming up for air after days of drowning. And I feel at peace in his arms—a sense of forever in his embrace. He pulls away from the kiss, but still holds me close. “You were going to say something before… about how all the things that make me me are the reason you…” he trails off.

I smile against his chest. “The reason I fell in love with you?”

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