“What?” I look from the chessboard to him. To his smile, as pure asthe ones in the framed photographs he’d kept in the display cabinet. “You got me good, Grandpa.”
Harlow
Swear, my friends deserve a medal for their patience with me, because Icannotline dance for shit, though my stepping the wrong way and accidentally slamming into them makes for excellent entertainment. And laughter, apparently, because it’s all we’ve been doing all night. We’ve all had turns on the mechanical bull, and surprisingly, Jeannie is the one who lasts the longest. “Weird, because she’s never ridden dick in her life,” Sammy quips.
“Oh my god, I love this song!” Sammy shouts, and before I know it, I’m being dragged back on the dance floor by my arm. I grab Jeannie on the way, but she’d been drinking water, and the paper cup flies in the air, spilling all over the front of her gown. She busts out a laugh before I can even say sorry, and then we’re back where we’ve spent the majority of the night—right in front of the DJ booth so Sammy can show off to Jonah, though she’d never admit it. “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” by Shaboozey blasts through the speakers, and of course, Sammy has the moves down, and I do a horrible job of trying to keep up with her. At one point, I spin the wrong way, slamming my face directly into Jeannie’s elbow, and it’s pure chaos as I cover my eye, laughing uncontrollably, and Jeannie’s trying to remove my hand so she can see the damage, and Sammy’s yelling at us, asking what happened, and I can’t stop laughing, and my laughter transfers to Jeannie because she knows it’s not that deep, but Sammy’s close to losing it, and then the music fades mid-song, and Jonah announces, “Y’all, we’re in the presence of greatness right now!” I settle my laughter to a giggle and look around. “Jace Rivera’s in the building!”
Everyone cheers, and my heart skips a beat as I search the crowd, find him standing by the counter. He raises his hand in a small wave, forcing the softest of smiles. His eyes find mine from across the room,and I give him a short wave in response. His smile widens, just the tiniest bit, and Jonah turns the music back up.
“Let’s try this again,” Sammy says, getting back into position. She glares at her cousin. “Maybe leave your MMA skills at home, okay?”
Jeannie laughs, moving to the other side of Sammy so there are no more mishaps, and I keep my head down, watching Sammy’s feet and trying to echo her movements.
Not much has changed in the hours we’ve been here.
I still can’t line dance for shit.
The song ends, and Jonah announces, “If you’re single, move to the side! This next one is for couples. Couples only. That means you, Mom and Dad, get your beeeehinds over here. It’sslow dancin’time!”
“I’d Love You All Over Again” by Alan Jackson begins to play, and we move to the side, leaning against the barrier while the floor fills with couples of all ages. Even Amber is dancing with a little boy I threw a party for a few months ago. Of course, Doll Harlow is with them too. Jonah’s parents are dancing, doing the classic side-to-side, sway and spin slow dance. Catching my breath, I smile as I watch them and wipe the sweat off my brow. Then Jonah appears out of nowhere, his hand out in front of Sammy. “Don’t make me beg,” he tells her, and I nudge her side.
She turns to me, the usual confidence wiped completely. It’s obvious she’s scared. Oflove. And if I’ve learned anything over the past few months, it’s that love is beautiful. No matter how short-lived it is. I cover my brother’s ring with my fingers. “Faith over fear,” I encourage. “Go!”
She takes Jonah’s hand, and he leads her a few steps away. Hands on her hips, he pulls her closer. It takes a moment for Sammy to give in to her stubbornness, give up on her fears, and she settles her cheek on his chest, and beside me, Jeannie sighs. “Finally.”
“Right?” I turn to Jeannie, hold out my hand between us. Then I smile, repeat Jonah’s words, “Don’t make me beg…”
She takes my hand, leading me to our friends. I glance back at the counter, where Jace had been, and my chest twists, the pain almostexcruciating. He’s is no longer there, and I fear that, soon enough, he won’t be anywhere.
81
Harlow
Spring has truly sprung.
The field around my house has turned a vibrant green, bringing with it pops of colors from the wildflowers that seemed to have bloomed overnight. Or maybe I just hadn’t noticed them before.
The grass is up to my shins now, the flowers even higher, and I almost feel bad for riding over them with my bike the way I am.
Last night, after the rink, my friends came back to my house, and we sat on the floor of the kitchen in our overly obnoxious gowns and ate day-old pizza and ice cream straight out of the boxes. We were a mess—an exhausted, beautiful mess.
Then someone knocked on the door, and I picked myself up off the floor to answer it. Jonah stood on the other side, his hands in his pockets. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t need to. “Sammy,” I called out, and she appeared from the kitchen, pizza sauce on her cheek and ice cream on her lips, but Jonah didn’t care. He stepped up to her, kissed her as if she held the oxygen his lungs needed to survive.
They spent the night in my dad’s bed.
I’ll be sure to change the sheets.
I said goodbye to all three of them about a half hour ago, and the second I stepped out of the house, I felt a shift in the air, as if I’d just taken my first full breath since…
… since Jace.
The sun beamed down on me, warming my flesh, and it seemed to melt the hardened parts of my soul. I went back in the house, changed into a swimsuit and a dress to match the wildflowers around me, and got on my bike.
I’ve lived here a while now, but I’ve never actually stepped foot in the creek before. I’m determined to do it today.
I ride through the field, the wind blowing through my loose hair, while my brother’s ring glints from the sun shining above.
It’s a good day for a good day.