Page 115 of Match Point

Suddenly a movement behind the glass of the corridor catches my eye and I see Neil on his phone, looking flushed and impatient as he tries to make a call.

‘Neil!’ I shout, waving my arms madly at him, because even though he’s the last person who would let me in, he’s my only hope. ‘NEIL!’

He glances up and his face lights up as though I’m the answer to his prayers. Jumping towards the door, he swings it open and ushers me in quickly. ‘She’s with me,’ he tells the security man, who instantly stands aside to let me in.

‘Told you,’ I hear Iris mutter, before she cries out after me, ‘Good luck, Flora!’

Once I’m safely through the doors, to my utter surprise, Neil pulls me in for a hug. I’m too shocked to hug him back, but he doesn’t seem to mind. When he steps back, he keeps his hands on my arms, and breaks into a relieved smile.

‘Am I glad to see you,’ he breathes, before he starts marching down the corridor at speed, encouraging me to keep up with him. ‘I was trying to call you but it’s going to voicemail.’

‘My phone died,’ I explain, hurrying round the corner after him.

‘Listen, I owe you an apology,’ he states, glancing over his shoulder at me so I can see the sincerity of his expression. ‘When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong. Flora, I was wrong about you and Kieran. You weren’t getting in his way, you were getting him here. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay. I get you were trying to protect him.’

‘Yeah, thanks to me, it’s been one fuck-up after the other,’ he says through gritted teeth as we descend the stairs. ‘But I still think he can win today. Now you’re here, I’m almost certain of it.’

He stops at the locker room and gives me a pointed look. ‘You don’t have long, maybe ten minutes. The roof is closed. They’re waiting now for the air conditioning to acclimatise in there.’ He nods at the door next to him. ‘I’m not allowed in there; technically neither are you. But I’m hoping that even if you’re sent out right away, at least he’ll know you’re here. That will be something.’

‘Okay.’ I nod, raking my fingers through my damp, knotted hair. ‘Thanks, Neil.’

‘Good luck,’ he whispers, before he carefully and quietly opens the door just enough for me to slip through.

31

An official is sitting on a bench to the left, staring at the lockers opposite him, his eyes glazed over with boredom. Kieran is seated on a bench at the other side of the room with his head in his hands. Hunched over like that, he looks defeated.

I start walking towards him with purpose. The official notices me and springs to his feet. ‘Hey!’ he says, bewildered. ‘You’re not allowed in here!’

Kieran’s head snaps up. I hear his sharp intake of breath.

‘I have to talk to you,’ I tell Kieran, as he jumps up.

‘You need to leave!’ the official orders, looking panicked.

‘You’re here,’ Kieran says, ignoring him and striding over to me.

We stop in front of each other, while the official hovers to the side, his eyes darting between us. ‘Excuse me, miss, but you really can’t be in here.’

‘This won’t take long, and I’m not here to coach or comment on the game, I promise,’ I insist, giving him a hopeful smile. ‘Thank you so much for understanding.’

‘What? No, I don’t—’

‘Flossie, I’m so sorry,’ Kieran cuts across him, his face crumpling. ‘I’m so sorry about everything. I convinced myself I was trying to protect you by ending it, but as soon as I walked out on that court today, I realised I’d lost what I’d been looking for this whole time. You were right about me. I pushed you away because I was scared. Scared to let someone else in again, scared to get hurt again, scared to hurt you. Because you’re so precious, Flossie. You’re everything, and I couldn’t hurt you.’

Blushing, the official clears his throat. ‘I really must protest—’

‘But last night I couldn’t sleep,’ Kieran continues brazenly, looking down and shaking his head. ‘I thought I was doing the right thing, but how could it be the right thing when nothing else seemed to matter? Winning Wimbledon has meant everything to me, and here I am in the final, and as I walked out on Centre Court today I realised—’ He pauses to take a deep breath and bring his eyes up to meet mine. ‘I realised that, without you here, winning doesn’t seem to mean that much at all.’

His eyes glistening, the official gulps, before quietly saying, ‘You’re not really allowed—’

‘I’m so sorry, Flossie,’ Kieran concludes, his throat bobbing, his brow creased. ‘I’m sorry for everything. I hope you’ll find it in you to forgive me, but I understand if you can’t, and I want to thank you for what you gave me the last few weeks. For the first time in a long time, I felt that someone really saw me. You reminded me to have faith in myself.’

The room falls into silence as I process his words. A warm, tingling sensation is flooding my body and I feel like I’m floating, like none of this can possibly be real. Everything around us seems to have faded into a dreamy haze and it’s just me and Kieran. He’s looking at me so intently, so earnestly, that it’s difficult to remember to breathe. I could happily lose myself in those eyes all day long, forever more.

I forget that we’re not alone until I hear the official emit a small whimper, moved by Kieran’s speech. ‘This shouldn’t… this shouldn’t be happening,’ he reminds us in a hushed tone, but turns to me expectantly, willing me to answer.

---