Page 36 of Lessons in Sin

I can’t see his face, but his hand freezes in mine. ‘What?’

I rip my hand from his. ‘I … I need to … I just can’t do this. Us.’

’Scarlett where is this coming from?’ His voice sounds pained, confused and the sound of Tristan, the man I love, yes love, sounding so pained makes whatever left of my heart shrivel up and die.

‘I need to focus on my dancing. You’re … you’re too much of a distraction.’

‘Look at me.’ He growls and I can’t ignore the command in his words.

His face is streaked in moonlight, pain etched down the graceful panes of his face. I try to look away, but he grips my chin, firm, unyielding. ’Scarlett, where is this coming from? Don’t think I don’t know when you’re lying to me.’

Shit. He knows me too well, he’ll never let this go without a fight. It warms me to know that I have someone like him, someone so smart, so all-consuming, fighting for me.

Steeling myself, I force ice into my eyes. ‘I don’t love you.’

‘What?’

‘You told me you loved me last night, before you fell asleep. I … I don’t feel the same.’

I swing open the door, but he’s too fast and by the time I’ve hopped out, he’s there - his eyes hard, pain glimmering in a sea of green.

‘Don’t do this Scarlett.’ He growls, pressing me against the closed car door. ‘Whatever happened, whatever you think you’re doing, just talk to me first.’

Tears threaten to fall, a knot building in my throat, but I ignore it, pushing it down until it settles in my stomach.

‘I. do not. love you. How is that hard to understand?’

‘I don’t believe you.’ His breath tickles my cheek, the intimacy of the moment so tainted by the words I’m saying. By what I’m being forced to say.

I clench my teeth, narrowing my eyes to slits and force out the words that need to be said. ‘Why exactly are you so sure I’m lying? Because I couldn’t love you. Getting to know you made me quite aware of that.’

He pushes away from me, the warmth, the happiness, the emotion all gone in a split second.

‘I see.’ He looks away, shadows hiding his face. His voice lowers to a whisper barely heard over the rustle of the leaves ‘You want to be a coward, that’s fine with me because the girl I love? She was never a coward. Goodbye Scarlett, I hope you’re satisfied.’

Jumping in his car, he doesn’t spare me another look before he’s driving away leaving me cold and alone.

And the most heart-breaking thing?

I swear that I could see something wet lining his eyes, the frost in his voice not deep enough to stop his tears from forming.

I barely make it to my room before I crumble, sobbing into my pillow - the room empty, Katie off somewhere, probably with Doug.

And that’s how I sleep, clutching a pillow soaked in my tears, the smell of Tristan still clinging to my shirt, the memory of him burning my shrivelled heart to ashes and embers.

Chapter 23

When the alarm rings in the morning, I throw it at the wall - the electronic scream reduced to nothing but a quiet creak before it dies out completely.

‘Do I want to ask?’ Katie asks.

I ignore her, turning in my bed until my face is flush with the wall. I should be getting up, rushing to get ready for today’s classes. But I can’t. The ache in my stomach cripples me, reducing me to nothing but a ball of snot and tears. I want to know how Tristan is. I want to know that he’s okay. I want to scream that I was lying, that everything I said was buried in lies to keep him safe.

Tristan loves his job. He’s amazing at it too. I couldn’t let him lose everything for me. If he was caught screwing a student - no matter how innocently this started - no other institution would employ him. He’d be blacklisted.

His entire career gone in a matter of minutes.

My phone buzzes. Mine, Noah, and Lily’s group chat flickering on the screen.

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