Page 15 of I Love You, I Love You, I Love You

And it’s then, and only then, that we are allowed to leave.

‘Don’t go the shortcut way.’

‘We won’t, Elaine.’

But we will, Elaine; we will.

We meet the others at the station. (We would never head into a party on our own – we are not clinically insane.) Bianca is wearing her thong over her trousers. Yes, you read that correctly. She’s already smashed, giving a speech about how everybody in Balham is a perve. She stops to light a cigarette. She smells medicinal, of vanilla ice cream and marzipan. She shifts her dyed-red hair over her widow’s peak to try not to look as much of an evil stepmother as she already does. Aoife races into the newsagents to buy a small bottle of gin and a ten pack of Marlboro Lights. All I truly want is a Toffee Crisp. But I buy a watermelon Bacardi Breezer because I probably should and a packet of gum. When I come out the girls are talking.

‘Lowe? He’s cute,’ one of The Twins replies to Bianca. What’s this? I try not to ping my head back and forth. Why are they talking about Lowe?

‘Which one was he again?’ Shrey asks.

‘Cap, hoodie, big eyes?’ one Twin says.

‘Always smiling,’ the other Twin adds.

‘Ooooh myyyyy daysss, his smile is so cute.’ Bianca presses her hands to her chest like she’s the Virgin bloody Mary.

Oh no. I become dry-mouthed and panicked. All boys love Bianca too.

‘You haven’t spoken about him before … ?’ I can’t help but interrupt.

‘Yeah, that’s cos I didn’t know if he was coming tonight but apparently he is.’

Oh, so you like to keep your options open by stealing the man of my dreams but also SHIT – he’s coming tonight?

‘He looks kinda young,’ Ronke intervenes. ‘No?’

‘No, he’s just short,’ Aoife says, her mouth open like a fish, picking glitter gunk out of her eye and squishing it into a ball. ‘And shy, poor bubba.’

BUBBA?

‘Bless,’ a Twin swoons.

‘You don’t have to be loud like that dickhead Jonas to get noticed,’ the other Twin defends.

No idea who Jonas is. I don’t seem to recall any guy that isn’t Lowe.

‘He’s quite mysterious, don’t you think?’ Bianca snatches a pocket mirror straight from one of The Twins’ hands and begins to check her reflection, slapping more lipgloss on top of her already dripping lips. I know she thinks the word ‘mysterious’ counts as a complicated word.

‘Oh very mysterious. He’s chilled and laid back, just like really comfortable in himself?’ Aoife adds dreamily.

‘—and very cool. Effortless actually,’ says Shrey.

‘OH, he’s so cool,’ a Twin pipes up.

‘And he’s got this great big cheeky grin!’ says the other Twin.

‘Adorable,’ Aoife concludes.

Bianca lets a demonic snarl spread across her face like she’s a very powerful womanly person, like, I don’t know … Cher or someone, and announces, ‘I think he’s buff, you know?’

My body shuts down. She’s taken her pick. She’s chosen.

‘Yeah, he’s fucking hot,’ Aoife blurts. You alright there, Aoife?

‘But, Aoife, you like Oli, right?’ Bianca double-checks.

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