Page 26 of Close to the Edge

“Oof.” You know, I may be two inches away from a fairy tale giant, but my girl’s pretty tall too. She’s not the lightest object to have collide with my chest at full speed, and I stagger back against the hammock, winded. “What on earth?”

The hammock ropes creak where they’re tied to the tree trunks. My sleeping bag slithers off the tilted surface and plops to the ground.

Tess buries her face in my shoulder, quivering, and wraps two arms around my neck like she’ll never let go.

“Stay,” she says, her voice muffled by my t-shirt. “I’m sorry about everything I said before. I take it all back. Stay, Ash. Please stay.”

My gut is queasy as I pat her back. For once, my girl’s asking something I’m not sure I can give, and having her back in my arms again is messing with my head.

Focus.

My words scrape out of my throat. “I would, angel, but staying here for the rest of the visit when I can’t touch you… kiss you… acting normal and like my heart’s not broken… I was never an actor, Tess. I’d do anything for you, but some things are beyond me.”

She shakes her head rapidly, arms squeezing tighter around my neck. Her hot, gasping breaths are making my shirt damp.

“No, you’re not listening. Stay, Ash.”

“For the rest of the week?”

Her laugh sounds broken—like none of this is funny at all. “No, you doofus. I want you to stay forever.”

Forever?

The ground shifts beneath my boots, and it’s a good thing we’re propped up by this hammock, else we’d go tumbling head over tail down the mountainside.

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do,” Tess insists, and she finally leans back to glare at me eye-to-eye. She’s brimming with tears, sweaty and red faced, but she’s determined. Those eyebrows pinch together, and lord, I’d never bet against this woman. She’s fierce when she means business. “I know exactly what I’m asking for. I want you to stay here, forever. With me.”

“While keeping my distance?”

None of this makes any sense, but Tess scoffs like I’m being dense. Hell, maybe I am.

“No, not while keeping your distance. While staying as close as I can humanly get to you.”

My heart lurches at her words, even as my brain struggles to keep up. Can she really mean that? What about—

“Rowan,” I say.

Tess shakes her head so hard her messy ponytail whips her cheeks. “This isn’t about him.”

And… Christ, after years of watching each other’s backs in the military, then worrying about him from a distance once we got back, the idea of taking Rowan out of the equation is an alien concept. Have I ever let myself be the main character in my own life? Even once? It’s a weird sensation to try it now, like I’m getting too full of myself, but I push through that prickle of shame and think: what do I want?

Tess.

Only ever Tess.

Her breath hitches when I lift her more fully against my chest, one forearm sliding beneath her ass. The hammock creaks madly, and finally, I take more of our weight.

My head’s not spinning anymore. My inner turmoil is quieting.

Tess.

Of course other people still matter to me. Of course I care about my buddy. But Tess is my number one, and if she wants me to stay with her forever…

“It would be my fucking privilege,” I say, announcing my decision to the trees. If this woman wants me, I’m in. All in. Already, I’m desperate to see my ring on her finger and my baby in her belly.

Tess moans with relief, and rocks up to kiss me. My whole body flares hot as I kiss her back, jaw working and heart singing.

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