Page 33 of Fading Sun

But I don’t want to be alone in the fae realm, either.

So, here we are, in a room that’s all silk and wood, with one bed before us and the unsaid question in the air about if we’re going to share it.

The bed looks more queen-sized than king, so a night in it would be snug.

My core warms at the thought, and my cheeks flush as I unsuccessfully try to avoid meeting his gaze.

He moves to the window, peering out into the twinkling lights of the fae realm—a sea of colors against the dark sky.

“You and Lysandra,” I say, needing to break the silence—and also needing to know more about whatever just went on between them. “You seem… close.”

He stiffens, his gaze remaining fixed outside, then slowly turns around to look at me. His face is back to that mask of indifference again, and I don’t like it one bit.

“Lysandra and I shared a chapter of our lives a few decades ago,” he says. “But we were always better allies than lovers.”

Lovers.

So, they were together.

“And now?” I ask, grounding myself with the warmth of my magic.

“Whatever feelings were there have long faded into a distant memory,” he says without missing a beat.

“Judging from your conversation just now, I wouldn’t say she agrees,” I point out.

“Whether or not she agrees is irrelevant,” he says. “Her feelings have no effect on my feelings for you.”

My heart leaps at the possibilities laced in his words. “And what do you feel for me?” I ask.

He’s quiet for a few seconds, considering it. “I feel like you’ll make an excellent queen,” he finally says. “Because despite how much you need to learn, you’re fast at picking things up, you’re a hard worker, and you’re quick on your feet when it counts.”

His words are kind.

At the same time, they’re not enough.

“I didn’t ask what you think of me,” I say. “I asked what you feel for me.”

He hesitates, a frown creasing his forehead as he sorts through his thoughts, as if he’s deciding how much of his feelings to reveal.

“I care about you,” he finally says. “I want you to accept my proposal and become my wife. I feel like you’re exactly what the clan needs to protect ourselves, the city, and possibly the world from being destroyed by the shadow souls. And I know you know it, too.”

I hold back a disappointed sigh. Because it’s still not enough.

Although, what do I expect? For him to take back what he said about this marriage being a “business arrangement?” For him to lie and tell me he loves me?

How am I supposed to expect that when I can’t say it in return?

I won’t. It’s not fair to me, to him, to the clan, or to the city.

I put myself first when I refused Lysandra’s offer to sacrifice the part of my soul that’s able to love.

Now, it’s time to put everyone else first by doing what needs to be done to stop Astrophel and the shadow souls from stripping the world of its light.

“I accept,” I tell him, and he freezes, studying me as if unsure he heard me right.

“You do?”

“I think I’m supposed to be saying that at the ceremony—not right now,” I say with a small smile.

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