Page 53 of He Will Always Love Me

I snort. “Now you’re making us sound like robots.”

“That analogy could work, too.”

I shake my head. “So what did you find then?”

Her eyes lit up, and I know I’ve asked the right question. “First of all, I want you to tell me if you’ve ever been in combat.”

“No, not really. There’s a few skirmishes with thieves and pirates but not many.”

“What about a shady criminal?”

I quirk a smile. “Can’t say I’ve ever given it a try.’

Her smile grows. “Perfect. You see, a lot of your instinctive reactions point to the same instincts as a soldier in some cases and a criminal in others. Like associating a river with a rest spot to get water and regroup. Or the playing card with trouble. An ordinary person might just see it as a game. But a criminal who knows the stakes also knows it comes with trouble.”

I blink in surprise. Had she really got all that just from showing me flashcards? I have to give the woman credit.

“Alright then, what’s next?”

“This one is a bit different and is going to involve a lot of patience and concentration.” She gets up and begins to move things around.

“In what way?” I ask as I watch her set up two mats and pull out a speaker.

“We’re going to try an immersive meditation together to see if it pulls out any memories for us.”

Meditation. Great.

Then I realize everything she just said. “Wait, us?”

She nods. “Us. I want to see what I come up with, too.”

I raise an eyebrow as I see her pull out a few scent cubes. “What exactly are you putting together here? I thought we were just meditating.”

“Immersive mediating,” she reminds me. “I’m going to be playing some ambient noise and cycling through a few different scents as we meditate. Sound and smell are two of the most powerful triggers for the mind.”

It doesn’t sound too ridiculous aside from the meditation. Sometimes, there can be a scent I catch in the air from time to time that takes me back to a moment in my childhood. Or a certain buzzing noise that makes me think of an old alarm I had. So I can believe what she’s saying.

“Show me what to do.”

We end up sitting back to back on the mats with our eyes closed.

“Breathe in deeply and then let it out slowly. Relax and let your mind become clear of everything,” she says soothingly.

As she does, I hear her hit a button on her remote. The sound of rainfall comes through the speaker. Then to the right of me, I smell the scent of rain from one of the scent cubes. It’s nice, but it doesn’t really spark anything.

We sit there in silence, just listening and smelling the rain while a whole lot of nothing is happening. I can feel myself growing impatient with every minute that ticks by.

The noise changes to a bird chirping, and the scent cube for rain goes away and is replaced by the smell of trees. This one also doesn’t invoke anything in me.

Maybe my mind’s supposed to be clearer? I wonder. But how can someone clear their mind when all they’re thinking about is clearing their mind?

Another few minutes pass, and I open my eyes and let out a frustrated groan. “This isn’t working.”

Libby sighs. “I was just getting my head to clear.”

“So it wasn’t working for you, either?”

Her silence is enough of an answer.

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