Page 33 of He Will Always Love Me

I stretch. The pain in my side is but a memory now. Whoever she is, she’s a good medic.

I know I would have healed faster and better in a regeneration unit, but I would not have missed this time with Maya for anything. I just wish I knew what to do next. “I can’t exactly take her back to the squad with me, and I can't stay here forever,” I ponder aloud. “But I can’t give up my fated mate.”

Her twinkling blue eyes remind me of someone who visits my dreams so often. I knew the stories of finding your destined other half, but never had I heard about the strange sense of familiarity Maya brings. Unless, perhaps, that's all in my head.

Ataxia knows the ravages of war had been getting to me. The atrocities are always there, hiding behind my eyes. All I need to do is close them and I see body parts, torn and scattered in all directions. And no matter how much I wash, the stench of death still clings to my fur.

“Hey,” says Maya, startling me as she slips through the door. “I bought you some food,” she adds, holding out the box in her hands.

“That’s amazing,” I tell her. “Was it hard to come by?” I hadn’t realized how difficult procuring even the basic necessities had become for the civilian humans here on Armstrong. The fact that Maya is managing to feed me speaks volumes for her generosity and dedication.

Maybe for that reason alone I should leave. I hate thinking that I am a burden to my fated mate. I haven't told her yet about our link. Would she be better off without me?

“No,” she says, but the pinch in the corners of her eyes tells me she’s lying. “The food supplies seem to be coming through a little better now.”

I look in the box. It’s the strange human food called bread again, and I can smell some kind of roasted meat.

“Thank you,” I say.

“I can’t stay,” she says, looking away.

“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” I tell her.

“It’s the least I could do,” she replies. “If I could find more food, I would feed you more.” There is a fleeting smile, and she nervously tucks her hair behind her ear.

“This is perfect,” I say, even though I could devour three times what she leaves for me.

“I have to go and see my mom, but I’ll try and get back later if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” I reply. I want to say more. But I’m still unsure if it’s wise.

I lay back on the bed, breathing in the scent she’d left behind in the room. I can’t quite place where I’ve smelled it before. It is like everything about her, so tantalizingly familiar.

When I was growing up, there was a couple who lived next door to me. They were said to be fated mates. To me, watching them as a child, they seemed to dance through life. They would sometimes throw parties, and I was fascinated by the way they moved around one another and finished one another's sentences.

As blessed as I know I should feel to have found her, it's hard to imagine I can truly experience that same joy they shared with Maya here on the wartorn planet of Armstrong

I sit on the bed and slowly eat the bread and meat she has left. The first time I tried bread, I thought it was horribly bland, but the more I eat, the more it grows on me. It is the perfect accompaniment to the meat, which is covered in a spicy sauce. As usual, once I’m done, I’m still hungry.

I notice at the bottom of the box is a small delicate purple flower. I pick it up and sit it in the palm of my hand. It’s a small thing, a simple gesture. But it fills my heart with joy.

I have a small effigy of the Goddess Ataxia nestled in my pocket. My Mother gave it to me to keep me safe when I signed up. I didn’t understand her tears then. I do now.

I pull it out and lay it in front of me next to the flower. Embedded in each palm of the tiny statue is a jewel. A white one in her left representing the soul, and a red in her right representing the heart.

It is some Ataxians belief that we reincarnate. I'm not sure most really believe it, deep down, but I know I've heard it mentioned. I don’t think I’ve ever quite believed it before, myself. But when I look into Maya’s eyes, I find it easy to think we have a bond that transcends this lifetime.

I decide I need answers. Folding my legs under me, I take the flower in one hand and the small statue in the other. Taking a deep breath, I slip into a meditative state.

“Great Ataxia, hear my prayer,” I whisper quietly. “I come to you seeking guidance. What do I do, to take care of my fated mate? I feel torn between her and my duties as a soldier. And sometimes I feel destiny is leading me, but I can’t tell what it is trying to say.”

I allow the blue haze to envelope me as I have been taught since I was a child. I’ve always felt a great sense of peace when I meditate on Ataxia. It’s a practice that I have let slip recently. I hope Ataxia hasn’t forgotten me.

As I go deeper and deeper within myself, I begin to feel a presence. The presence wraps itself around my body until it coils inside me. I have never felt the Goddess this clearly within me.

“Beware, Revnan,” she whispers. “Great forces work against your pairing. Sometimes the best thing to do is let go. A union with a fated mate is a powerful thing, and it can attract the attention of some dangerous entities.”

The words that echo in my head cause my stomach to contract in fear. “What?” I demand. “What do you mean?”

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