Page 70 of Five Days

“So those five days that were supposed to be heaven kind of turned into hell,” I muttered.

His brow furrowed, concern filling his gaze. “Did something bad happen?”

“No. The opposite, really.” Without going into too much detail about my past, I explained the addition Callum had brought along with him for our little vacation of what was supposed to have been two. While what he’d done hadn’t gone against the contract he’d signed with EEMM, the act of manipulation didn’t sit well with Sean.

“You should have called me and cancelled,” he stated quietly, his frown still fixed firmly in place.

“I wasn’t unsafe, just knocked off-kilter, and I can’t regret what went down because I feel as though my past has been put to rest.”

Sean huffed a snort. “Bullshit. It’s obviously stirred up even more trouble.”

“Am I that transparent?”

“You are today,” he didn’t hesitate to say.

“Shit.” I rubbed a hand over my face again. Maybe the dreams of my two lovers weren’t allowing me proper rest, and I was simply exhausted and in need of a real vacation.

“How are you doing?”

I wanted to snort, considering Sean hadn’t been one for feels and the discussion of them outside of wanting dick before Matteo turned his life upside down.

Sean cared about all of his employee’s wellbeing, and not just because we made him a shit ton of money.

“I don’t really know,” I admitted. “Like a part of me is missing, envious as fuck over what it seems like my co-workers are finding and scared as hell about what both of those facts might mean.”

“Falling happens quickly for some people. When you know, when you experience that draw, you can’t ignore it. Matteo fought his need for me and shouldn’t have. I’m the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened for him.”

I chuckled, shaking my head at his usual arrogance. “I think you’ve got shit backward.”

Sean cursed at me, his eyes alight with laughter. “Matteo and I both hit the jackpot.” He conceded. “He’s the best decision I’ve ever made.”

Nodding, I glanced toward the living room, thinking of the men sitting in there. They’d become my family, had filled part of the void inside me and influenced my contentment in Boston. I couldn’t fucking leave them—they were all I had. And the drama the two couples had to endured to be together was cringeworthy. They’d shared their stories filled with the type of angst that could tear a heart in two.

I didn’t have that kind of fight in me.

But goddamnit, I missed Callum and Landon badly enough I questioned my stance on trusting others with my heart.

“Take some time off.”

I jerked my focus back toward Sean. He still smiled, but a softer curve of his lips showed acceptance rather than disappointment. “Figure out who needs to be first in your life. I’ll be sad to see you missing from Elite’s menu, but if these two guys are the ones for you, go for it. I just want you happy, Zack. If that means you’re as fulfilled as I am and no longer lining my pockets, then so be it, but you’ll always be a part of the Elite family.”

I swallowed hard, nodding again.

Sean straightened, closed the few feet between us, and grasped my shoulder, squeezing tightly. “If shit doesn’t work out, I promise I’ll keep you in ass and on dick until you die.”

A huffed snort of laughter left me, making his smile morph into a boyish grin.

“Seriously, though, what’s holding you back? It’s obvious you’re pining for them.”

“I can’t trust people.” I answered with the honest to fuck truth.

He settled against the counter again, his gaze unwavering. “Want to talk about it?”

I didn’t, but fuck, I needed help. “It started with my parents, who’d abandoned me into foster care when I was like two weeks old.” I wasn’t sure where to go from there with the story of my childhood that had shaped me into the closed-off man standing here.

“Maybe locating and confronting them would help heal you,” Sean suggested. “Trust me, taking steps toward working through the shit in your head and heart can lead to a much more fulfilling life.” Sean would know—he’d been open about going to therapy for months, and while he was still his usual pain-in-the-ass self, he had a peacefulness about him that he’d lacked before.

I’d always told myself I didn’t give two shits about the people who’d left me to the state since they’d obviously felt nothing for me. So, fuck them and whatever excuses they’d cooked up to make themselves feel okay with discarding their own flesh and blood.

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