Page 69 of Five Days

Landon panted beside us, and I gave him my full focus, watching how his lips parted on quick exhales, his amber eyes almost fully eaten by swollen pupils as he stared at Zack opening me up.

I bit my inner lip when Zack’s cockhead pushed against my pucker, soaking in Landon’s whimper instead of moaning my own enjoyment of being breached. Every gyration of Zack’s hips burrowed him into my soul. Etched his name where no one else had ever managed to caress.

I barely knew the man, but he’d attached himself to the innermost parts of my body’s cells alongside Landon’s.

Although Zack played out a fantasy come to life for Landon, I appreciated the lack of cringe words and cliche sayings, as though performing porn rather than actually enjoying the moment. Perhaps I read into the act as more than it was, but I couldn’t help my wishful thinking.

“Please,” I whispered, nearing my end, wanting to be put from my misery of not knowing and overthinking.

Zack leaned over me, his hot, hard chest pressing into my back. He reached beneath me to stroke my cock.

I grunted, eyes clenched shut as he smeared pre-cum to my firmed balls.

“Come for me, sweetheart,” Zack murmured.

Something inside me broke open like a dam, cracking my heart. A sob ripped from my chest as I gifted him what he’d asked for, and euphoria swept me up in bittersweet rapture.

Zack’s cock bucked inside me as he found his release, his deep groan against my ear pebbling my skin and sending shivers clear to my toes.

I focused on Landon’s soft curse, then his gasped cry I’d recognized as his finding satisfaction.

He’d orgasmed because of my submission, and although more hurt than elation settled into my soul as we finished, I couldn’t regret what we’d done.

Chapter 28

Zack

Boston welcomed me home with warmer weather than when I’d left for my little vacation but not nearly as pleasant as the tropics. Spring flowers lay like a rainbow around my condo’s short walkway, but they appeared dim compared to what I’d left behind. They also did little to bring hope for more pleasant days ahead.

Emptiness owned my chest, a numbness rather than the ache I’d expected. At least I had that to be thankful for.

The other thing I appreciated was only being booked with EEMM once for the upcoming weekend. I attended an event Saturday night as arm candy that seemed to drag on amidst attempted banter at the table of nine my date and I sat at.

I bullshitted with the two on either side of me, envisioning being bookmarked by Callum and Landon to make the time pass quicker. While I could admit to missing them like two limbs had been torn off my body, I had to stay focused on getting back into the groove of my drama-free, mundane—safe—life.

At the end of the evening, I bid my client a good evening without having to lay lips or hands on him in a way that would have felt wrong. I also attempted to set aside the constant recalling of the two lovers that had seemed the opposite. Absolutely right and scarily so.

Sunday afternoon, some of the EEMM guys got together at Sean’s condo overlooking the wharf. We were a smaller group that month, which I tended to enjoy. Regardless of our meager number, evidence of found and appreciated love radiated like blinding light to my dimmed soul.

Preston draped over Drake’s lap in one recliner. Pain stabbed my chest over their open affection. Even worse was Sean sitting on the floor beside the other chair occupied by his Teach. Matteo’s fingers stroked through his hair, and he preened like a lazy cat at being doted on in his not-so-subtle display of submission.

Their fulfillment in each other slowly weighed down on me, heightening the barrenness in my heart. Jealousy nagged at me like some of the foster mothers I’d lived with, a constant poke of awareness of what I didn’t have that made me want to rip my hair out.

“What’s up with you?” Jimmy asked from his seat on the couch beside me.

I rubbed a hand over my face, wishing I could scrub my inner self clean of want for what I’d left behind. Regardless of my determination to keep both Callum and Landon from haunting my thoughts after returning from paradise, they’d embedded themselves deep in my psyche. I could admit now that there was no escaping them.

“Just tired,” I lied, not about to get into shit with Elite’s biggest mouth. Jimmy gossiped like a teenage girl, and even though he wasn’t mean, he couldn’t be trusted with my personal shit.

As though sensing my unease, Sean kissed Matteo’s knee and pushed up to his feet. “Want to help me out for a minute?” he asked me, nodding toward the kitchen.

“Sure.” I followed him through the archway that allowed us a bit of privacy.

The TV droned from the living room, but still, he walked to the farthest end of the kitchen before propping himself against the counter, arms and ankles crossed.

“What’s going on, Zack?” While not usually a shrewd guy, Sean’s blue-eyed gaze pierced through my armor, and since he was someone who’d proven himself trustworthy, I decided to lay shit on the line because I couldn’t deal on my own anymore.

Maybe he could help me get back on track with my quiet lifestyle that used to be peaceful once upon a time.

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