Page 25 of Five Days

Had there been more intent behind his affection this morning? Every time I’d woken up in his bed after snuggling up to him in my sleep? If I’d shown the slightest indication of wanting Callum, which I totally had experienced in that moment, would he have leaned in to brush his lips over mine?

My heart beat a little faster, a stir of desire rousing inside me again. The feeling excited me, like a door had cracked open, allowing a peek into a whole new world of possibilities.

After Zack had left me, I’d had difficulty trusting anyone. But Callum had come in like a gentle breeze, a soothing balm who had helped ease the hurt I’d caused myself. I’d been empty inside for so long, and he’d filled a part of the void that my writing still hadn’t been able to.

Memories raced through my brain, reminding me of how doting Callum had always been with me, how my best friend nurtured me in the same way Zack had done when we’d been kids. I tended to be handsy in response to his tender touches. Did I cling to Callum because his nature reminded me of Zack, the rock I’d hung onto when shit had gotten too real back then?

Or did I grasp onto Callum out of an unconscious yearning for more with him? The thought echoed in my head, making me believe it might be true. Or perhaps I held tight to him because I feared he would leave me as Zack had done.

But Zack had taken off because of my decision, the words I’d screamed out of fear of abandonment and pain over his rejection. That choice had led to many other wrong ones afterward that had taken my life into a downward spiral.

Callum had been the hero sweeping in to offer my heart shelter from the backlash storm, but he wasn’t my replacement for Zack.

Or was he?

Did I love Callum beyond friendship? That morning’s moment between us on his bed suggested I very well might. Warmth continued to rouse inside me, arousal I wasn’t sure what to do with.

Looking back, I realized it wasn’t the first time Callum had peered at me in such a way, but I’d been too focused on my love for Zack to recognize his feelings. Add in his tender touches to my lower back, the brush of his lips over my temple, his lingering fingertips on my skin…

A shudder rippled through me.

I stared at Zack, working through the thoughts ricocheting through my mind. There was a lot of shit to unpack, thanks to Zack’s statement about Callum. He and I shared something more potent than Zack and I ever had. How could that not be love? And even if Zack and I worked things out between us, I would demand Callum remain on my other side since I couldn’t bear to live without him.

My throat tightened, eyes once more welling at the thought of losing Callum—even if I were to attempt to make Zack his replacement, which he could never be.

Zack’s lips pursed as though he grew annoyed by my troubled silence.

I needed to focus on the now, even though underlying fear of Zack walking away again tempted me to push off a discussion we still had to finish. While I didn’t deserve his forgiveness and didn’t truly believe I would get it, I hoped for it. Maybe if we reached an understanding at least, I could find a way to move on from the hold he had over my heart, since he’d clearly stated I would never have access to his again.

Callum would be enough. He’d been my everything for years, and I’d been a lucky bastard who hadn’t realized how good he’d had it until now.

“I’ve never been known for my smart choices,” I admitted quietly, “but I can’t help what I want.”

Zack’s intense stare made me long for Callum’s assuring touch on my lower back. “And what’s that?”

“Do you…” I glanced at his half-empty mug of coffee that’d sat untouched long enough it’d probably grown cold. “Do you think you would ever be open to at least being my friend again?”

“You’re joking, right? After what you did to me?”

I grimaced, closing my eyes. “I really miss having you in my life, Zack. That closeness we shared back then.”

“You don’t need me. You have Callum.”

“I’m greedy,” I stated what he was already aware of while meeting his hazel eyes I could still drown in without effort.

He huffed what sounded like a laugh, the corner of his lips giving me a hint of smile that made my pulse race. “You always were.” Leaning onto the table, Zack pinned me in place with a glint in his eyes that wasn’t exactly friendly but held heat I recognized. He might not like me, but a part of him recognized and appreciated the sexual tension between us. Something I’d felt the stirrings of when we’d been younger but hadn’t known the full extent of until now.

“What exactly do you want from me, Landon?” His low, suggestive voice trailed over my skin like teasing fingertips. “And don’t lie.”

“Everything, even if it hurts,” I whispered the truth, even though pain of some sort lay around the corner in one form or another.

Zack pursed his lips while considering my words, eventually releasing a heavy sigh that screamed of resignation.

My pulse once more sped up, regardless of the fear attempting to knife at the back of my mind.

“Temporary truce for now,” Zack said, his words making my heart soar even though it wasn’t exactly what I’d hoped for. “Callum hired me for the next five days, so my dick, mouth, and every other part of me, belongs to him. If he asks me to pleasure you, worship your body, or make you come while I’m buried balls deep in your ass, I will.”

Oh, Jesus.

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