Page 92 of Bright Lights and Summer Nights

EMMA

Your words mean the world to me. And me too, Rhodes.

CHAPTER 48

PRESTON - TWO MONTHS LATER

My condo feels eerily quiet except for the sound of the TV in my living room. I used to thrive in the quiet of an empty house. It left me alone with my thoughts, and being in my head used to be all about work. Now, my mind isn’t as fun a place to be because it always drifts to Emma.

So, I no longer enjoy the silence. I leave the TVs on so I can pretend this condo doesn’t feel empty without her.

“And the Mambas are already off to a great season, not having lost a game yet in the seven games they’ve played so far,” Bill Silas, one of the nicest sportscasters I’ve met over the years, says on the TV.

“Something’s got to give though, right? Preston Rhodes is playing lights out right now, but eventually, a defense is going to figure out how to stop him. Everyone thinks this will be their Cinderella season, but I’m not so sure,” Roger Oleman responds.

I smirk at Roger’s jab. The guy has never liked me—I don’t know why—and even though he’s supposed to remain unbiased, he’ll use any chance he gets to have the Mambas losing against an opponent.

Bill clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “That’s where I think you’re wrong, Roger. I can’t tell you the last team I’ve watched where I thought it was actually possible for them to go all the way to the Super Bowl without ever losing a game.”

“No. I think the Portland Pirates have a great shot at taking them down next week. Austin Rickerd is playing out of his mind for it only being his third season. He’s going to want to come out and prove to everyone that he’s better than the seasoned vet that’s Preston Rhodes.”

I only pay half attention to the broadcast. I normally try to avoid all of the different sports stations during the season, not wanting any of their opinions to get in my head, but this season, things are different.

I’ve never been so focused in my life.

I don’t care if Roger Oleman thinks I’m going to finally lose to Austin Rickerd. If anything, it fuels me even more to hear his opinion. I eat, breathe, and try to think about nothing but football. I tell myself it’s because this is my last year in the league and I want to give it my all after I made a promise to Emma.

But deep down, I know the focus is because if I allow my mind to drift to anything besides football, it’ll go to the woman I fell in love with—the one who wasn’t ready for my love. And thinking about her—about what we could have been right now—hurts. Excelling and being the very best quarterback I’ve ever been doesn’t hurt, so it’s where all my focus goes.

The noise from the TV fades out as I look at the little black box in my lap. Inside it sits letters I’ve written to Emma that I haven’t sent. I didn’t write them for her to read, not yet at least. I wrote them because I needed to feel like I was still talking to her, even when I wasn’t.

It’s been a way for me to make sense of my feelings for her. One by one, I unfold the unsent letters and torture myself by reading over every one.

Rebel,

It’s been two days since you left and I don’t think I’ve ever felt pain like this. I know this is for the best. I know for us to work, which, god, that’s all I want is for there to be an us at the end of this, that you have to go and find yourself on your own. I’m just really fucking missing you while you do it.

Yours,

Preston

Rebel,

I knew you leaving would hurt. That much was obvious. What I didn’t know was how lonely I’d feel without you. From spending almost every second with you over the summer to not seeing you at all is like ripping off the most painful Band-Aid to ever exist. I want to come home and tell you how practice went. I miss walking through the doors and hearing you belting out lyrics to a boy band song I’ve never heard of. I just miss the little things with you.

Yours,

Preston

Rebel,

We had the season opener today. It was the best game I’ve ever played. I would’ve given anything to have you there to watch it. But sometimes when I really miss you, I go to your profile and watch your videos. You look happy. I want you to be happy. I hope you’re falling in love with yourself a little more each day. That’s how I fell in love with you. Little by little until you became the most important person in my life. You still are that person for me. You always will be, no matter what happens.

Yours,

Preston

Rebel,

---