Page 78 of Bright Lights and Summer Nights

“Just because you don’t admit your feelings doesn’t mean they’re not there.”

“Are you my grandmother or my therapist?” My tone has a bit of a bite to it, but it doesn’t deter her at all. She’s used to my mood changes, so all she does is aim a knowing smile in my direction.

“Right now, apparently both because you can’t get your head on straight to realize you’re crazy about this girl.”

I let out a defeated sigh as I fall backward in my chair. Gram’s right. I am crazy about Emma. I just don’t know what to do about it. The timing of us meeting seems all wrong. She’s set on finding herself and has made it clear a relationship isn’t in the cards for her right now, and I’m about to go into the last year of my football career. Logistically, it seems all wrong for me to feel this way about her. But logistics don’t matter when it comes to the heart.

I just want her, no matter the cards stacked against us.

Gram leaves me alone to gather my thoughts. She surprisingly doesn’t poke or prod to figure out what’s going through my mind. She sits there quietly, letting me come to terms with my feelings.

Finally, I look up from staring at my hands in my lap and meet my grandmother’s eyes once again. “I’ve never met anyone like her. How could I not be crazy about her?”

Gram nods, her lips pulling into a wide smile as she looks to Emma. My gaze follows her lead, finding Emma shimmying on the dance floor as Peyton laughs next to her.

“It’s okay to feel that way about her and to be scared about the future. Being scared is just a sign that you care.”

“That might be my problem. That I care.”

“Only if you look at it that way. Or you could look at it as a good thing and think with your heart for once.” She reaches across the table and taps my forehead. “You’ve always been wise beyond your years, Preston. But what if thinking with your head makes you miss out on what might be the best thing to ever happen to you?”

I swallow past the lump in my throat. I’ve been dreading tonight, knowing I’m supposed to go back to the city tomorrow. Now, I’m having to sit through my grandmother playing philosophical matchmaker, knowing she’s making very valid points.

Emma and I cannot end tonight. We started as what was only supposed to be a week together for Peyton’s wedding, but it’s turned into something that feels like so much more. I don’t know what more that will be long-term, but all I know is it can’t end tonight.

“So, are you going to tell her how you feel?” Gram asks from my side. I’d been so deep in thought I hadn’t realized how her cold hand had moved down to massage the back of my neck. She continues to circle the tender spot as I think about her question.

“Do I have much of a choice?” I tease, appreciating my grandmother for giving me a push to admit my feelings. “If I don’t tell her, it seems like you might.”

She winks at me. “You know me well, dear.”

The conversation falls off because there’s nothing else to say.

For once in my life, I’m scared of losing something. I’m more than scared—I’m terrified. No matter my feelings, Emma could tell me that she isn’t feeling the same things as I am. I feel dizzy about the thought, but it’s something I have to prepare myself for. At this point, even if she tells me this isn’t something special to her like it is to me, I have to try.

Tonight, I’m going to ask her for more, whatever more she’ll give me. And all I can do is hope she wants the same.

CHAPTER 40

EMMA

“What a night,” I mutter as Preston and I walk through the front door of the house. I don’t even know what time it is, but I know we celebrated Jackson and Peyton into the early hours of the morning. I’m exhausted but also incredibly exhilarated by how perfect the night was.

“You hungry at all?” Preston asks, setting my heels he was carrying for me by the door.

I smile and nod. “I’m starved. It seems like the late-night snack the club served was hours ago.”

“It was hours ago,” Preston points out, walking over to the refrigerator. “And you barely left the dance floor. You need fuel for your body. I’ll make us something.” He’s been quiet tonight. Even more quiet than normal. Even as he spun me around the dance floor, he wouldn’t voice whatever was running through his head. Which is unfortunate because all I want to know is what he’s thinking about.

“You being a good cook is really sexy.” I still don’t have the nerve to ask him why he’s been so quiet, but I do want to break the tension now that it’s just us.

I slide onto one of the barstools at the large island. I’d had a few drinks over the course of the night, but by this point, I barely even feel them anymore. I’m riding a high from the incredible time I had with Preston at the wedding.

But with that high comes the knowledge of what tomorrow will bring. Peyton and Jackson leave for their honeymoon, and Gram’s already told me that a private plane is taking the rest of them back to Manhattan tomorrow afternoon.

My time with Preston is coming to an end, and I hate it. I want more of it. I want more of him. I don’t even want to sleep until he steps onto a plane so I can soak in every moment I have with him.

“What sounds good to eat?” he asks as he rifles through the contents of the fridge. He’d put in a massive grocery order yesterday that completely stocked the fridge, which I found odd since he’s leaving tomorrow, but I didn’t question him on it.

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