Page 64 of Dangerously Tempting

I hate that he blames himself for it all. I hate that I blame myself, too. Neither one of us is to blame in this, and the one person that is will never give us an apology. Even if she could, I don’t think it would be something that she’d offer up, no matter what ended up happening.

“I hoped,” he continues, his voice still low, “when I saw the news. I thought for sure that her suicide would be a turning point for you and that you’d reach out.”

“I know,” I say sadly. “I thought that, too. And it did change things, but not enough that I felt comfortable reaching out yet. I had more that I wanted to work on first, more that I needed to let go. I didn’t want to bring my baggage to your door.”

“Amelia,” he whispers, squeezing me tighter. “I would have taken you in any way you were willing to give yourself, you know that, right?”

“I do. But I needed to do this by myself. I’m sorry that it took so long.”

“You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.” He pulls back so he can look at my face, wiping my tears away before he presses a kiss to my forehead. “I want to show you something.”

I give him a small smile and nod, and he takes my hand, leading me up the steps to the house. When we step inside it’s just like his apartment used to be, clean and well-decorated. It smells wonderful and clean with the scent of him lingering in the air. It smells like home.

“It’s beautiful, Jameson.” I can’t help but focus on each detail my eyes are seeing. The intricate woodwork throughout, the shelves on the walls with carved edges, and the entry table tucked against the wall, I can tell must have taken him months to make. Each shelf has something eye-catching and beautiful on it, be it crystals, plants, knick-knacks, or pictures.

Mixed in, there are even photos of us from years ago. When Kat told me he was never with anyone else, I’d laughed in her face. I’d thought for sure she’s been lying, but seeing my lingering presence in a home that I’d never even set foot in is a powerful point driven home. There are small things that I had completely forgotten about, that I’d noticed were missing but slipped my mind after all these years.

My favorite brand of Chapstick rests on the plate for keys and change on the entry table. There’s a shelf with a stack of word search booklets on it, one tattered with age that I’m almost certain I sat on his couch working on once upon a time. A well-worn copy of Pride & Prejudice is on a shelf nearby that I know is the one I lost. The suncatcher that I hung on the balcony of his apartment hangs in the living room window. Everywhere I look, there are ghosts of me.

My heart somehow swells and breaks at the same time. My breath catches in my throat and I swing my eyes to him to find him watching me. “Why?” It’s the only word I can manage as tears fill my eyes again.

“Because I wanted you to be sure that you belonged when you decided to come to me.”

My chin wobbles and I press my hand over my lips as the tears escape down my cheeks and he takes my other hand, squeezing it. That I ever doubted this man, that I ever let someone come between us when he’s so caring, so good, so thoughtful, eats me up. The guilt is heavy, but I’m willing to carry the load that I’ve created.

Kat was right. I was wasting the time that I was away from him, and now that I’m here I’ll do everything in my power to make it up to him.

“There’s more,” he says after a moment.

“More?” I ask, incredulously.

He grins in a way that’s oddly boyish and excited and tugs my hand to lead me down the hall. He passes by several rooms along the way, they must not be his goal right now because he ignores those doors. When we get to the end of the hall, he pushes the last door open and steps inside.

When my mind catches up to what my eyes are seeing, I gasp. The walls are lined with empty shelves, and there’s a desk placed perfectly across from the window to overlook the beautiful landscape behind the house. The room is filled with natural light as the sun beams through the window. I step farther inside, running my hand across the surface of the desk, my heart in my throat.

“My goal was for you to be able to fill these up with time, be it with books that heal you reading, or the ones that heal you as you write them.”

This man. My aching heart, this fucking man. What did I do to deserve him?

I tilt my head back, pinching my nose to keep from losing it. It’s certainly a battle of wills. The fact that he did all this, that he built all of this… I can’t wrap my head around it. “Kat?” I ask, knowing of no other way he’d have known about this part of me.

“Yes. She’s been gracious enough to keep me updated on how you’ve been. She tried to keep this from me, for a while. She knew you’d be embarrassed, but eventually, she thought it was important that I read your books, to understand.”

My eyes widen as I look at him. “You-you’ve read my books?” The words come out in a whisper scream, and I slap my hand over my mouth, my cheeks heating. That bitch knows me so well because I’m definitely embarrassed.

He smiles widely. “Every single one. Every chapter, every scene…” he quirks a brow and I somehow manage to blush even deeper. “Don’t be embarrassed. You’re really good. Not only that, but I could see your growth as you went along. I’m sure you’ve got a shelf at home full of the books that have impacted you the most, the ones that will haunt your memories with both their agony and their happiness. I can assure you that your books are out there somewhere, on someone’s shelf they’ve made of books, with that same purpose.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, overwhelmed with emotions. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just know that this will all be waiting for you when you decide that you’re ready for it.”

I lean back against the edge of the desk, my hands falling on each side of my hips to grip the edge as a smile pulls at my lips. “Hmm… just the house?” I question, and he narrows his eyes at me. “This is a mighty big house for little old me. Might get awfully lonely.”

He prowls across the room to me in just a few powerful strides, grabbing me by my thighs to plant my ass on the desk, making me squeal before he steps between my legs. He grips my throat between both his hands, using his thumbs to tilt my jaw up so I’m looking into his eyes, and I melt into his touch.

“You will never be lonely again. There won’t be a moment that I won’t be by your side if you allow it. Never again.”

“You’re going to get sick of me,” I can’t help but tease, and his fingers flex around my throat as he pulls my face closer to his own.

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