Page 63 of Dangerously Tempting

“You already have, sweetheart. You already have,” she says softly.

We explore the property a bit, talking over how I might be able to situate the house. Even though it’s not everything, even though there is still a giant hole in my heart that may never be filled, I have a sense of hope. I’ve needed something to drive me, a direction, and this property will do that in a way that I never even considered.

My parents know me better than I know myself sometimes, so I’m sure that was their plan all along. I love them all the more for it, for knowing what I need right now, and being willing to do whatever they can to make it happen.

It’s as we head back to the truck that my phone pings, and I pull it out to check the message.

Kat: She’s home. I think that she’s doing better. Please don’t give up

Me: Never

I can’t help but smile as I climb into the back seat. Hope. I finally have hope again, and I won’t squander it. I won’t waste it. I will give it my all.

35

Amelia

Playlist: "Coming Home - Part II," Skylar Grey

Two years later

I turn the car around the curve between the trees, and as they part to a clearing I slow down, easing to a stop outside the wrought iron gates. They’re shut tightly against my entry, and I’m sure there’s some sort of metaphor that I could find in that.

I put the car in park and turn it off before I unbuckle my seatbelt and push the door open. The clean air washes over me immediately and I pause, tilting my head back to inhale the country air. It’s been so long since I’ve been outside the city that the quality of air is a stark contrast to what I’m used to. It’s a good change, a refreshing one, and the smell of pine trees lingers in my nose as I climb out of the car.

I leave the car door open, sure I’ll have to get back inside if I’m to go any farther. There’s no house in view, but the property goes back who knows how far, disappearing into the trees behind the fence. I take a deep breath to steady my steps as I make my way to the pillar on the left side of the gate that houses a speaker and a call button.

I stare at it for a long time, wondering if I’m doing the right thing. I suddenly feel like I shouldn’t be here, even though Kat said that if I didn’t get my shit together and go, she’d drag me by my hair. I don’t doubt that she would. She’s become so angry with me in the last few years, saying I’m wasting too much time waiting for things to be perfect.

It’s not perfection that I seek. Just normalcy. I needed to feel like me again. I needed to be able to smile again. I needed to not feel afraid, and I think that I’m finally there. I think that I’m finally ready.

I pull in a breath, hold it, and force my arm up to press the call button.

It feels like an eternity that I stand there, waiting for a response. I’m fidgeting, yanking at the fingers of my opposite hand and picking at my cuticles, and I’m about to give up and turn away when there’s a moment of static through the speaker, making me jump with a squeak.

“Amelia.” It’s all he says, but after all this time just hearing my name from his lips nearly brings me to my knees, and I cling to the corner of the pillar to keep from toppling.

“How did you know it was me?” I question, glancing around for a camera. I finally catch sight of it, tucked inside the pillar across from me so I couldn’t see it from my car.

I jump again when the gate groans and then begins to open. “Follow the drive straight for about a mile. I’ll be waiting.”

I nod and turn back to my car. It takes everything in me not to sprint, to throw the car into drive and speed down the driveway to him. I try my best to maintain my calm as I climb back behind the wheel and start the car again. The mile drive feels like the slowest mile I’ve ever taken, and by the time I pull up to the house and find him standing on the porch waiting for me, I want to throw myself into his arms.

The house is beautiful, and thanks to Kat I know that he made it himself. From the ground up, every brick, every board, every nail. They were all placed with his own hands and I could not be any more proud of him.

I suck in a breath and climb out of the car as he comes down the steps. I’m trying not to show my excitement because I don’t know what he’s thinking. I don’t know if he wants to yell at me, or if he’s indifferent to me altogether. That’s the one thing Kat wouldn’t tell me. She said it was my place to figure that out on my own, not have her tell me. She’s right, but I’m absolutely terrified.

I turn towards him as he approaches me, and lose my breath. He’s so fucking handsome, his dark hair a little shorter nowadays than it was before, but he still has his beard, and if anything, his muscular arms are even bigger than they were. That could be a figment of my imagination, as it’s been so long since I’ve seen him in the flesh, but I’ve stared at his photo countless times.

His face is expressionless, and my hackles rise a bit. He’s always worn his feelings right there on the surface via his expressions, so it hurts that he’s so guarded. I understand it entirely, but it hurts nonetheless. He has no reason to trust me, doesn’t know anything of my intentions or why I’m even here. I’m once again flooded by feelings that I shouldn’t be here, that I never should have come.

Those thoughts wash away when he reaches me and I can finally see into his eyes. His face might be passive, but his eyes are a storm that he can’t hide from me. So many feelings, so many opposites colliding, and when he sees the same reflected in my own we both let out the breaths we’d been holding.

He steps forward, pulling me towards him by my shoulder, and then he tucks my head under his chin, his arm shifting up to hold the back of my neck while the other pulls me tight against his chest. His scent washes over me and I can’t hold it in anymore, the sob that’s been deep in my chest finally works its way free as tears stream down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” I cry. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he mumbles into my hair, and I can hear his sincerity just as much as I can feel it in his touch. “I’m sorry any of it happened in the first place. You needed your time, and I was willing to wait while you took it.”

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