“He needs a good woman to show him love. Can I trust you with that, too?”

I chew my lip for a second, a blush rising up my cheeks, and I have to look away from his heavy gaze. “Yes,” I breathe. “Absolutely.”

She huffs a soft laugh. “Good. I’ll let you go then, so you two can get back to whatever it was you were doing before I interrupted.” Her words are innocent, but it’s her tone that gives away what she’s alluding to.

“Oh! We weren’t—“ I begin, but she cuts in.

“Tell my son I love him. You two have a goodnight,” and then she hangs up.

I pull the phone away from my ear, staring at the screen in shock. Did that just happen? Jameson gently plucks the phone from my hand, setting it on the counter.

“She says she loves you,” I say, finally looking up at him again to find him smiling at me.

“Don’t take it personally, she’s really good at embarrassing everyone she encounters, and then flouncing away from the conversation like she didn’t just do so. You’ll get used to it.”

It seems to hit us both at the same time what he just says, and he freezes as my eyes widen a bit. He’s thinking of the future like I’ll be in it, the same way that I’ve been doing with him. Why does that flood my body with sheer panic? We’re both on the same page, by the looks of things, so it doesn’t make sense, does it?

Except that it does, because life has repeatedly kicked me down and shown me that things don’t last. I lost both my parents in my teens. Friends moved on from me like I meant nothing to them, all except for Kat who is the one long haul person that I have in my life. Every relationship that I’ve ever been in has blown up in my face, leaving me wondering why I even keep trying.

And then there’s Jameson. Perfect, sweet, caring Jameson. A man that is clearly too good for me. A man so above me in so many ways, that I don’t know how he even sees me all the way down here. And he doesn’t even notice.

Not yet, anyways. But one day, he will.

It could be a month from now. It could be five years down the road, when I’m finally starting to think that I’m good enough. But the fact of the matter is, one day, he’ll look at me and he’ll finally see the truth. He’ll see that he can easily aim higher and get a woman less bitchy than me, more beautiful, more perfect like him. And just like that, it will all go up in smoke.

I have no words, so I just nod, shoving a spoonful of chili into my mouth so I don’t have to speak. He stares at me, clearly picking up on the shift in my mood, but doesn’t say anything.

“She seems nice,” I finally say, and he nods stiffly.

Maybe he’s already seeing it.

“She is,” he agrees, and then tilts his head. “Where did you just go?”

I look up at him, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“You were yourself and then I guess I said something wrong because it’s like you fell right back into that woman you were in the hotel room that suddenly lost all of her confidence.”

I bristle, because somehow he’s nailed me down so spectacularly yet again. It makes me feel completely transparent, which makes me incredibly defensive even when he’s right. Knowing that this reaction is just my mind’s way of trying to protect myself from a situation that it thinks is going to hurt me, I clench my teeth and inhale several deep breaths to calm down.

It doesn’t help.

“If you think that I’m jumping the gun, or making assumptions about our future and that makes you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to back you into a corner. But fuck, Amelia. You gave me the key to your apartment. That meant something to me. That was big to me.

“And you can try to say that it was for whatever reason makes you feel most comfortable, but I know it was big for you, too. I know that this whole situation was thrown into your lap unexpectedly, and you felt that you had to step up to meet it, but if that’s not what you want, I need you to say it.”

All of the frustration drains from my body. Having him upset with me is worse than I ever could have imagined. I press my hand over my mouth, tears burning my eyes as I fight back the sob in my throat, because I don’t know how we got here. He somehow thinks that I don’t want him? Is he fucking crazy?

“Please, just say something. Anything.”

The look in his eyes is what does me in. My hands fall to my lap and I huff out a humorless laugh. “I’m fucking terrified.”

He blinks, taken aback by my words. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m terrified of Tori’s intentions. I’m terrified that you might get hurt. I’m terrified that I’m not good enough and that I’m going about this in all the wrong ways, and that I’m going to ruin everything.”

A tear slides from my cheek and he reaches for me. “Amelia,” he begins, but I hold up a hand to stop him.

“I’m terrified because I don’t want to lose you. I’m terrified because I’m in love with you.”