Page 18 of Dangerously Tempting

I’m going to owe him an apology for that later, but right now I’m too aggravated to care.

I feel like a fool for getting my hopes up, and at the same time I’m disappointed in a way that makes me unable to let it go. She can’t just walk away and leave things like that between us. I won’t allow her to let a bit of miscommunication ruin the possibility of what could grow between us if we gave it the chance.

She’s just going to have to get over whatever problems she’s creating in her head that don’t exist. We can discuss it and move forward. Before I can talk myself out of it, I pull my phone from my pocket and click onto our text thread. Typing out a quick message I hit send, hoping it’s enough.

Me: Can we please just talk about this?

My father always told me to go after what you want, no matter how hard you have to fight for it, and that’s what I intend to do. My sights are set on her, and I’ll do whatever I have to in order to prove myself to her.

11

Amelia

Playlist: "Feel Something," Bae Miller

When the work day finally comes to a close I pack up my things and make my way to the elevator. Call it bitching out if you must, but I have absolutely no interest in running into him again today. After sitting with thoughts of how I reacted all day, I’m pretty ashamed of myself for the way I acted. I’m not quite ready to fess up to that and make amends, though. I honestly don’t even know if I’m willing to do that at all.

He messaged me that he wanted to talk, but I feel like it’s too little too late, so I didn’t respond.

He didn’t straight up lie to me, but it was a lie of omission nonetheless. I don’t like being lied to or wronged, so I find it incredibly hard to let those things just roll off my back. They make me tense, defensive, and if I’m being one hundred percent honest about it… a bitch. I’ve already given him a peek at that side of me in the stairwell and I don’t want to do it again whilst my emotions are still raging.

So evasion is my tactic. I’ll stay away from him until I at least, calm down. Maybe once I’ve cooled off I’ll be willing to let him have a chance to tell me his side, but at this moment I’m just too peeved at him to even hear him out.

Don’t get me wrong, I would love to spend another night under him, or over him, or in any way that we can interlace our bodies, but the amazing sex is not reason enough for me to just let things slide. My stubbornness is ingrained so deeply that I’ll hold onto the petty grudge for a while, even if it is a bit childish.

The first step to recovery is acceptance and all that. Certainly hasn’t seemed to make a difference in that particular personality defect, but you can’t fault a girl for trying.

I’ve just slipped into the elevator with several others when my phone starts vibrating in my purse. I fish it out, knowing it’s Kat before I even look at the screen. It’s our normal routine to call each other at the end of the day and hash out our shit.

We’ve been friends since high school and play off of each other really well. Where she’s a bit of a hothead, I’m calmer and more willing to talk things through. Funny enough, she’s quick to let things go when that rage burns out, where I’ll hold a grudge for years. We’ve become really good at talking each other through struggles and we know how to push each other past our faults to let our best attributes shine.

The only negative is that we know each other far too well, which is confirmed when I put my phone to my ear and say hello. She doesn’t even say it back before asking where I am. The silence stretches out between us for a few beats, because I know if I tell her I’m in the elevator right now she’s going to give me hell for it. I never take the elevator.

Her sigh is long and dramatic. “This is ridiculous, you know that, right? Throw the poor man a bone and hear him out.”

“Nope, not yet,” I respond quickly. “I need time to—“

“Time to overthink and make yourself even more angry when you haven’t even heard why he didn’t tell you in the first place. I know. I say this with all the love that I have for you, Amelia. Absolutely all of it, so don’t you get all bitchy with me, okay?”

“Okay,” I grumble with a sigh, exiting the elevator with the group I got on with as we hit the ground floor.

“You need to let it go. It’s such a small, inconsequential thing that he left out his exact job title. I know you’ll deny it right now, but that man lit a spark in you in the small amount of time that you were with him. It wasn’t even 24 hours and you were glowing! I think you owe it to yourself to see what that could be like long term. If you don’t do it for yourself, then do it for me. I want to see you that happy all the time.”

“That shit never lasts long term, Kat.”

“You say never like you’ve dated every man on this planet and know for sure. Stop trying to predict the future and just live your damn life.”

“I don’t know how to do that, Kat,” I say with a sigh.

“If I remember correctly, he’s really good at giving directions, so maybe he can help with that.“ She pauses waiting for me to laugh, but when I don’t, she sighs and continues. “Just talk to him. Please. At least hear him out.”

“I’ll think about it.”

I say the words, but I already have thought about it. I’ve thought about how much easier it would be if I just gave in, let him apologize, and see where this goes. I’ve thought about how good we could be if I could just get over my own bullshit, my own fears. Problem is, those fears have ruled me my whole life, and I don’t know if being with him would be enough to fix them.

So for now, I keep my focus on my job like it’s always been, and try to decide if it’s a step I even want to pursue. Is it a risk I want to take? I’m still not sure, but I know I’ll feel more comfortable talking to him after I’ve made my decision.

He’ll just have to wait.

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