Page 46 of Dangerously Tempting

“I’m sorry,” Kat mumbles, and I can tell that it’s not something she says very often.

“I’m sorry, too. Fresh start?”

“Fresh start. But… I can’t just forget seeing that. Sorry,” she shrugs with a grin and Theo blushes again.

“Can you at least pretend?”

Amelia laughs. “She’s explained it in so much detail that I feel like I saw it myself, so I highly doubt that.”

Theo’s shoulders slump, and I step forward to slap his shoulder. “But she thought it was hot, so you’ve got that going for you.”

He groans, throwing his head back in defeat. “I hate all of you.”

We all laugh, and the girls squeeze him into a tight hug, squashing him between them. He mouths ‘help’ at me with pleading eyes, so I step forward and wrap my arms around them, helping them squeeze him.

“Traitor,” he gasps out, and I laugh, ruffling his hair.

“Nah, I just know what’s good for you and more friends is good for you.”

They finally free him, and he stumbles into me where I help him get his footing before stepping back. The girls are chatting with each other like we aren’t here, grabbing snacks and heading to the kitchen, and I can’t help but stare after Amelia. She went from stressed, to hysteric with laughter, to mending shit between them so quickly that I’m amazed by her.

Theo nudges me with his elbow and I pull my gaze away to look at him. He’s smiling, but something about it is sad. I’m about to ask him what’s wrong when he drops a bomb on me.

“You’re in love with her.”

I open my mouth to deny it, but the words aren’t there. I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but he’s completely right. She swept into my life unexpectedly and it’s not something that I would change for the world. She unsettled me, unraveled me, and then stitched herself into the holes I had within myself until we were one completed piece.

“I am,” I agree, admitting it to both of us, and it feels good.

“Then don’t let her go.” He taps his fist on my arm and moves to step away, but I grab his shoulder, halting him.

“Can I ask you something?” I ask, suddenly remembering what Amelia said that first day she was at my apartment, about Theo having a thing for me. I’d meant to ask him sooner, but with the craziness that Tori stirred up, it had completely slipped my mind. It was only the sadness, the finality, in his eyes, that reminded me.

“Of course,” he replies, turning back towards me.

I rub the back of my neck, uncomfortable. “I know this is out of the blue, but something Amelia said got me thinking. Were you,” I begin and have to clear the tightness from my throat before I continue, fearing his answer. “Back when you were questioning your sexuality and you asked for my help… were you into me?”

Theo pales, his eyes widening, and I know right away that Amelia’s thought process was correct. Theo never hesitates and is always very vocal about his needs and wants… except for this one, apparently.

He draws in a breath, standing up straighter like he’s preparing himself for a fight. “Yes,” he admits, very Theo like, and I expect that to be the end of it, but he keeps going. “I already knew I was gay, that I had no interest in girls, but… I just had to know for sure if you might possibly swing that way.”

I feel like he punched me in the gut. “But why? Why would you need to know that so badly you’d trick me into thinking I was helping you?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know the answer to that.” He doesn’t say it harshly, but it still hurts, because I didn’t know. I had no idea. He must see that in my face because he continues, “I was in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you. After that kiss, I knew it would always be one sided, but there was nothing I could do about it.”

He shrugs helplessly, and I’m torn between hugging him and not being sure if I’m allowed to touch him. “And this is exactly why I didn’t want you to know.” He motions to my stiff demeanor and I shake my head, trying to remind myself that this is still my best friend I’m talking to.

“Theo, I’m sorry. I truly didn’t know. How did you ignore it like that? How did I not even realize?”

He laughs, almost bitterly. “I didn’t ignore it. For the longest time, I was willing to settle for any scrap that you were willing to give me. That’s on me. But you? You didn’t realize because you didn’t want to. It’s easier for the straight guy with the gay best friend to ignore the gay part so that things are chummy.”

I open my mouth to say something, but there aren’t any words there. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if he’s right, that I purposefully ignored any signs so that I wouldn’t have to confront the fact that he’s been in love with me all this time, just so I could keep my best friend. If it’s the truth, I was doing it unknowingly. I thought I’d accepted every aspect of him.

“I didn’t knowingly do that, if that’s the case, Theo,” I manage to get out. “I thought that you were just struggling to find the right guy.”

“I was struggling because none of those guys were you.”

“Theo,” I say sadly, feeling like the lowest of lows in this moment even though there’s nothing I can do to fix this or make him feel better. “You’re my best friend, and as far as I’m concerned, you always will be, even if that means you have to move forward in your life without me. I’m not saying this because it’s what I want, because I don’t.

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