Chapter Six

Arvin

Dream walking wasn’t unfamiliar to me. I’d done it a few times as a child, but it was always because someone really close to me was about to leave this plane. Sort of like our last goodbye. It wasn’t something I intentionally did. It ran in the family, and my grandmother could dream walk with intent. But me? It was only during those few very sad occasions.

Which was why this dream walking freaked me out. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to this stranger. Not even close. I felt it deep in my core that we were meant to meet, and I refused to believe it was only to have him instantly depart from this world.

Seeing his heart break the way it did tore a hole in mine. My first guttural reaction was, “Oh no, he’s leaving. He’s leaving now. He can’t leave me.” Everyone else was slipping away from him. Why would I be any different?

But then this little word in the back of my head kept pushing forward. Mate. Mate. Mate.

I didn’t wake the way I normally did. No, I was yanked from slumber to find Stone already awake, sweating and shaking. I rushed to him, wanting to help. But his eyes were closed tight. I wasn’t sure if he was hiding from me, not wanting me to see him like this, or if he had already fallen back asleep. I hoped it was the latter because that would mean there was hope that he wouldn’t remember the dream in the morning.

Suddenly, I felt like I’d invaded his privacy and needed to make amends. I hadn’t done it intentionally, but that didn’t make my presence any less invasive. Those who loved him had rejected him so completely. Was that real life manifested in his dreams or his biggest fear? In any case, I couldn’t imagine how deeply that cut. I was only with him for a few minutes of actual dream time, but it slammed into me in a way I’d never forget.

And then there was my part in the dream. What did that even mean? Was it my conscious mind working there under the veil of sleep? Was it his imagination directing me? I had no idea, but he seemed peaceful and it was time for me to go back to the couch.

Nothing about him looked like he was in any danger of dying. It wasn’t like when my grandmother was in hospice, or my uncle was in his coma, both of them saying their goodbyes. Those connections, those bonds of familial ties and the purpose of those dreams had been crystal clear. This was different. So very different.

Tonight was more like I was an active participant in the dream. Like I had made those decisions. It didn’t make sense how I could manage that, but what about dream walking did make sense? What it categorically didn’t feel like was Stone reaching out one last time. There was great comfort in that.

Mate. Mate. Mate. The single word kept repeating over and over again, like an echo. I wasn’t a shifter. I didn’t have mates. That was not what humans did. Making the entire thing even more perplexing than it already was.

Humans got married. That was one of the things about shifters I’d always been jealous of. I would see shifter bonded pairs and recognize how much they truly loved each other. My parents never had that, nor did any of their friends. I’d known from an early age finding my always and forever would be a crapshoot. And then, if I did find someone, I worried I wouldn’t be able to recognize it and hold onto it. I didn’t have my beast guiding me. I was also jealous of them having their beasts, but what little kid didn’t?

There was so much trial and error in human dating, which was probably why I really put myself out there. I couldn’t remember the last time I went on a date. It was before I started this job, for sure.

But now there was this push coming from inside me to do more than date. It was telling me loud and clear to snag this man, this dragon. That he was mine. That I was his. That we belonged together.

I snuggled back into my sleep spot and tried to will myself back to sleep. It failed. I tried box breathing, counting the rain drops, thinking of all the states and capitals. None of it worked.

All I could think about was Stone and how much I wanted to comfort him after his dream, and how I wanted to make him smile, and how I didn’t want him to go once the storm cleared.

He was obviously traveling. The only reason he stopped here at all was because of the weather, and the storm wasn’t going to stick around for long. That’s how they worked. They came in, caused destruction, and moved on. Was that how I’d feel about Stone when it was time for him to leave?

Would I be the one left behind? He didn’t seem to recognize me as his mate, so that was a really strong possibility. But also, there was no denying that he was physically attracted to me. He tried not to show me, but it was obvious. Tight pants don’t lie.

But why? Why wouldn’t he say I was his mate? Isn’t that what shifters do? And why would I keep telling myself he was my mate, out of nowhere, if he wasn’t?

I pulled the blanket over my head. This was too complicated. I replayed the dream over and over in my head, trying to look for clues. His family weren’t dragons. That much was clear.

And maybe dragons were different. Maybe they didn’t know they had mates. Maybe they were more like humans. But if that were the case, why would I be having these intense feelings like this?

In the end, it didn’t matter. Not really. Because what would be, would be. I’d have to talk to him about it in the morning. Waking him up to tell him I thought I might be his mate wasn’t even close to a good idea, as much as that was exactly what I wanted to do.

I tried to go back to sleep again only this time, just as I was almost there, it hit me. If I went back to sleep, what was going to happen? I could end up back in his dream. And then what? If he doesn’t want me, he sure doesn’t want me meddling in his nocturnal wanderings. What if he didn’t even know that I really was there? There would be no reason for him to. This was hardly a daily occurrence.

It was a rare gift that I had, one that I didn’t have any real control over. So it wasn’t something I would have even shared with him had we had time to have some deep talks about ourselves. Most people wouldn’t say, “Hey, nice to meet you. Let me tell you about the time that my grandmother was dying, and we visited each other in our dreams like when I was a little kid, and she used to make me cupcakes in her kitchen cups.” That wasn’t how small talk worked and, so far, that was all we had.

I was just going to have to wait until morning to figure it all out. But, until then, I needed to stay awake.

My grandmother taught me how to block people out of my dreams. I’d never done it. I never felt the need. Not once had anyone ever attempted to share a dream with me that wasn’t for a goodbye. But maybe the information she gave me could be useful to Stone. I knew I wouldn’t appreciate someone poking around in my head if I didn’t want them there.

Lightning cracked, my little cabin shaking once more.

This was going to be a long rest of the night, but staying awake was for the best. I started to make a mental to-do list for all the things that were going to need to be checked and possibly repaired in the morning. The tarp-covered roof of the cabin was the number one at this point, but with trees and branches down, it was going to be far from the only thing. I twisted and turned to help ward off sleep. Being productive helped me stay awake, also.

It was going to be a long-ass night, and I was probably going to look like poop in the morning. Well, if he really is my mate, he won’t mind. And if he wasn’t, it was probably best I figured that out sooner rather than later.