Page 7 of A Daddy for Maddy

In one room, two well-muscled guys were hanging from the ceiling bound in an elaborate decoration of ropes. In another, guys were strapped to tables, some face-down, some face-up, receiving spankings or hand jobs or more. In yet another, there were several Saint Andrew’s Crosses set up, all being used for flogging, which appeared to be a lot more intense and naked than the flogging on the stage by the dance floor.

I wanted to go slower. I wanted to see, to watch. But Dan seemed to be in a hurry. I knew he liked both being flogged and getting flogged, but beyond that I hadn’t asked him for more details. Maybe he was in a hurry because he wanted to make use of one of those rooms?

I felt bad that I was a burden to him, and decided I would go wherever he took me and be fine with that so he could leave and do whatever he liked.

We came to a set of double doors. Dan opened one side so I could peek in. What I saw made my mouth drop open.

Colorful toys were scattered around a large blue carpeted play area. Trucks, race cars, games, blocks, stuffies. Pink, blue and green beanbag chairs sat in every space. There were low tables where boys could sit and do puzzles and color. Against one long wall three couches lined up where several men, again most wearing leather, sat overlooking the scene.

More than half a dozen boys sat on the floor playing, or ran about the room giggling and shouting at each other. It was quite apparent they knew each other from times before. Most of the boys were dressed in shorts or onesies. One was in diapers. I secretly liked diapers. Seeing him made me feel more okay about myself.

Shelves along the wall facing the couches held more toys and books. I wanted a closer look and pushed at Dan to get my foot in the doorway.

“I thought you'd like this room,” Dan said, stepping back. His grin was so wide it showed his teeth.

He was right. But he didn’t have to be such a butthead about it.

“Want to go in?”

“Sure. You know, just to look around.”

“Of course.”

I stepped through the doorway and felt some pressure in my mind break free. Back in the bar and overlooking the dance floor, I hadn't quite felt comfortable. But in here, I could relax, be myself. I hugged Kornie tightly to my chest and walked into the room.

I went straight for the shelves, wanting to see the books and games. And also, the stuffies. I wasn't going to touch them. Who knew who might have put their grubby hands on them before today, or what they would have done with them? But the room was super clean and everything looked brand new.

Dan followed behind me. “Hey, do you think you might like to stay in here for a while?”

“Sure. I'm fine. I don't need a babysitter.”

“Uh, right. So you say.” He clasped his hands together. “Then it's okay if I go scout around for a while?”

“Sure it's okay. I know you have other interests here. Go ahead. I'll be fine.”

“Well, if you do leave the room just text me, okay?”

“Sure thing.”

Dan could be annoying, but he was also pretty nice. I didn't want to get his in way and I was very sure he didn't want to keep hanging out here with me.

At the very least, I could get a sort of firsthand education on boys and littles. The daddies hanging around on the couches might also give me some insight into behaviors, expectations and the like.

I found a coloring book with the wrapper still on it, untouched, and a brand-new box of crayons. I loved to color but rarely indulged myself, being still too self-conscious and new to the idea of being a boy. Or, now that I knew the word, a little.

I hurried to a space at a low table where two other boys were quietly coloring, knelt and spread out my newfound prizes. I set Kornie beside me and my drink on the table.

“Is that a daddy drink?” one boy asked.

“Uh. It’s rum and Coke.”

“No daddy drinks allowed on the table,” he muttered, not looking up from his wild coloring which, I might add, was all outside the lines.

“Oh. Okay.” I grabbed the drink and set it on the floor beside me.

I unwrapped the coloring book and pushed the cellophane to one side, always a glorious feeling to unwrap something new. Then I began to thumb through it. I found a page with unicorns and flowers on it. So perfect.

I glanced up to see if anyone was looking, or if anyone might rib me for preferring what might be a sort of girlish work of art. The unicorns were dressed in flowers and jewels.

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