Page 49 of Little Boy Toy

He grabbed my hand and led me to the living room. He pointed to the couch. “Sit.”

I did as instructed. Funny. Since I was usually the largest person in any group, people expected me to tell them what to do. Not so with Kendry. He didn’t seem to notice. He spoke honestly, from his pure heart. When he wanted something, he let me know.

Kendry plopped down beside me. He pressed his knees against my thigh and put the necklace over his head, the key hanging just above his stomach. He touched the key once, then said, “This is the best gift. I’ve never been given anything like it. You should never be disappointed in yourself. You’re a good guy. My hero. Right? What happened tonight was that Travis was goading you the same way he goaded me when I went with him to his house. He got mad when I wouldn’t go to bed with him. That made him turn mean, just like tonight. He called me horrible names and said I would never find anyone to love me because I was nobody and no one would ever want someone like me. He had been drinking. That made him meaner, I think. He wouldn’t stop calling me very nasty names. I yelled back. If I’d been bigger, I’d have hit him. Instead, I stomped out of his house with my things and went home and cried. Now things have come full circle, don’t you see?”

His long speech had me frozen to the spot. My mind was running on slow speed, and I guess I didn’t respond quickly enough.

Kendry reached out and grabbed my arm with both hands. “Zale, you finished it for me. You did what I wanted to do but couldn’t. If that’s not a fantasy come true for me, I don’t know what is.”

Me? A fantasy come true? I wasn’t even a proper daddy for the boy.

Kendry crawled over my thigh until he straddled my lap. Again, he cradled my face in his hands, then leaned in and kissed me, deep, long and thorough. When he was done, he pulled back a few inches and said, “Zale, I love you.”

I took a deep, hitched breath.

“Is it okay to say that now? I’m sorry, if it isn’t, but it’s true. I love you.”

I placed my hands on either side of his waist and pulled him forward until our chests and stomachs touched. “I love you, honey. I have for a while now.” I tried to laugh away the sudden blurriness that stung my eyes. It didn’t work. They filled up to nearly overflow.

“I knew it!” He grinned and kissed me all over my face, then pulled back again. “It’s why you gave me the key to your house.” He clutched his chest where the key sat. “This is the best day ever.”

I was happy for him, and extra happy we’d be living together, but still felt disappointed in myself. I would always defend someone I loved. I kept telling myself that. But couldn’t I have handled this all in a different way?

I must have communicated through my body language that I was still upset.

Kendry said, “Can I help you relax? What can I do?”

“Nothing, honey. You just be you.”

He put his head against my chest and was still. We had become attuned in just a few short weeks. He picked up on my emotions as if he’d known me forever. I reached for the remote and turned on the TV. I put it on some challenge reality show and let it play. Kendry never lifted his head to watch. He just kept hugging me.

What a wonderful first night of “living together” I was creating. This wouldn’t do at all. We should have been celebrating. Laughing. Talking. Having ice cream in bed.

Daddy or not, I’d fucked up.

I shut off the TV. Kendry lifted his head to look at me. He kissed my cheek with a soft, warm peck of full lips.

“Let’s go to bed,” I said softly.

“Carry me?”

Carrying him around was my favorite thing to do. He clung to me as if he was a part of me. I’d never imagined experiencing anything like it. My lovers in the past had been somewhat larger physically, and very independent. I thought that was what I liked. At the time, maybe it was. But not anymore. I loved Kendry more and more every day. He was my type now, and the only one I wanted.

Kendry kept himself entwined around me as I moved about the living room and kitchen turning out the lights, checking the back door lock. On the way back through the kitchen, Kendry suddenly leaned down as I passed the table and scooped up Alexander, whom we almost forgot.

I moved down my—now our—short hall to my bedroom, our bedroom. I plunked him down on the foot of the bed and he finally let go of me.

I went into the bathroom and when I came out, Kendry was standing in the middle of the room seemingly staring at nothing. The door key sparkled against his sheer, white shirt.

“You’re not undressed yet? Do you want me to undress you?” I knew his little self loved that.

He came toward me, took my hand, and led me to the bed. He pushed against my chest until I was forced to sit, then said, “Let me undress you.”

He started unbuttoning my leather vest. His movements were graceful, slow, caring. He was in no hurry. He gently pushed it over my shoulders and down my arms.

Next, he smoothed his palms against my shirt collar and began with the top button. When that was done, he parted the shirt and held it there, staring at me.

“You look so good like this. Red is your color, I think,” he said.

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