Page 5 of Little Boy Toy

“This is my social time.” I realized how stupid that sounded only after I said it.

The man did not laugh. “Hmm. All right. I can be quiet. Go back to your reading. But is it okay if I just sit here a little while longer?”

I studied him for a few seconds. He was so big. Like a mountain compared to me. Beneath the leather jacket, he had on a white button up shirt and blue jeans that looked very clean. At least he didn’t stink like some of the leather daddies. And he didn’t have hair on the backs of his hands.

In truth, he could sit wherever he wanted. “I guess.”

I went back to reading but now everything felt different. Weird.

I found my place and started to read again. The sea monster’s sound was like the rush of waves, and he sang about the moonlight rippling on water. He sang of salt and mermaids, lost ships and drowned sailors. It was sad and beautiful at the same time.

I could see the man out of the corner of my eye. He had his hands folded over his stomach and his head slightly back. He looked like he was staring at the ceiling. He had to be uncomfortable in that tiny chair, but he made no sound.

For some unknown reason, I decided to start reading out loud. I held the book open wide and low on my lap so the man could see the pictures if he wanted to. I read just above a whisper.

Soon, the man turned his head and looked down at my lap. The book was a barrier between us, so I felt safe. He was interested in the book. It distracted him.

I read to him. The sea monster wrapped itself around the lighthouse. Its tentacles had suckers on them, and they stuck to the lighthouse’s windows and walls. Its song of comfort sounded like the sea crashing against the rocks.

The lighthouse started to come loose and tilt against the water.

“’Come with me,’ the monster said.” My voice wavered. “’Into the deeps where we can be safe and live together.’ The lighthouse broke from its perch and sank with the monster under the swells and the white foam to live forever at the bottom of the sea. The end.”

Before I could turn the page, the man said, “I’m not sure that’s a happy ending.”

“Of course, it is. They’re together now.”

“But the lighthouse was a trick. He thought it was alive.”

“Do you think the sea monster didn’t know they were different?”

The man lifted his shoulder. “Do you think the sea monster did know?”

“Yes. This sea monster was very intelligent.” The painting showed the sea monster hugging the lighthouse. It knew what it was doing.

“Well, I suppose it got what it wanted,” the man said. “Read me another one.”

We sat in the reading corner for another hour.

Usually, daddies read to their little ones. This was different because I was reading to the daddy. Slowly, all my muscles began to relax. I hadn’t realized how tense I was when he walked up, and how tired I’d gotten of turning down propositions. I expected a proposition to come from this man, but it never did. He just wanted the stories.

It wasn’t extremely late. The kittycat clock on the wall said eleven-ten. But the man got up and said, “I’m off to find my friend. Thank you for a lovely time.”

I blinked up at him. He was back to being so tall again, stretching up to almost touch the ceiling. All I could think to say was, “You’re welcome.”

I waited for him to ask if he could see me again. Or at least tell me his name. He didn’t do either. His jacket shifted on his broad shoulders, and he slowly walked away.

I let my breath out, unaware I’d been holding it.

4

Zale

We stepped up to The Red Door. It opened and the doorman scanned our passes from our phones.

“I can’t believe you wanted to come back here with me,” Errol said. “You told me nothing happened last week.”

“Nothing did. But I didn’t mind. The club is interesting, and I didn’t want to stay home alone on a Friday night.”

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