Page 20 of Little Boy Toy

With Kendry, there was never a lull in our conversation, never a dull moment. We chatted about our favorite movies, UFOs and Bigfoot, and even the world at large. He had never traveled. I had done some of that and shared some of my experiences.

Kendry made me feel young again, not that thirty-three was old, but being around him gave me permission to feel like I could just be me with no masks, and no trying to be proper. I wanted to be good for him, do everything right, but all that was on a level that gave me joy and never felt like work.

Together we placed the dinner dishes into the dishwasher, and I let Kendry put the soap packet in the little compartment and push the button to turn it on. He was fascinated.

“Don’t you have a dishwasher at your place?”

“Nope. Kitchen’s too small.”

Back on the couch, we read some more and watched more TV. I wanted to reach out to him. I wanted more.

Down boy, down.

Kendry squirmed a little after dinner. Once he got up to use the bathroom. When he came back, he squirmed even more.

“Are you comfortable?” I asked. “Would you like a pillow?”

“I’m fine. But?—”

“But what?”

“I know it might be too much. I mean, I just like being with you. You’re not a daddy, I know, but could I hold your hand sometimes? Maybe?”

My entire body seemed to sag in relief. I wanted to shout. Yes! He could hold my hand any time. Instead, I kept my calm.

“You can do that any time.”

He reached out and placed his palm against my wrist. I turned my hand until we were palm to palm. Automatically, our fingers wove together. His smooth knuckles rubbed against mine. His fingernails were short and even and I rubbed my thumb over his little finger from the tip to the last knuckle. He squeezed my hand as if he liked it, so I continued the gentle, slow stroking.

The TV droned but I didn’t hear a word of it.

Kendry spoke softly and I missed what he said.

“What, honey?” I didn’t realize I’d said the endearment until after it escaped my mouth.

“Why did you come in the littles room that first night?”

“You know why. I needed a break. Everything was becoming too much.”

“Like overwhelming?”

“Exactly.”

“Don’t you like kink anymore?”

“I still do. Yes.”

“Did someone hurt you?”

“Not recently. But, yes, I’ve been hurt in the past.”

“Me, too.” Kendry said the words so softly I almost didn’t understand them.

“Recently?”

“My last daddy was a rough one. It lasted two nights. Barely.”

I blinked, not quite understanding.

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