Page 54 of My Almost Ex

“She doesn’t remember my proposal,” I admit.

“Maybe because she already loved you by then.”

I nod a few times. “What if the new Lucy doesn’t love the old Adam?” I ask the question that’s been keeping me up at night. The one I ask when I admit to myself that maybe I still want a happily ever after with Lucy.

“I thought you were only in this to see why she left you?” She cocks a perfectly arched eyebrow at me.

I shrug. “I’m just speaking in hypotheticals.”

“Oh, well in that case, I’d say that old Lucy and old Adam aren’t a problem because neither one of you are who you were before she walked out. Even if she regains her memory, she’s not going to be the old Lucy anymore. And the old Adam left when the old Lucy walked out on him. Maybe you need to get to know one another again.”

“Pres!” Cade calls to her.

She smiles and her hand squeezes my forearm. “Smile, will you? It’s a party.” She walks over to Cade and he takes her hand, leading her down the steps to the fire.

“Is that Cameron down there with Chevelle?” I hear him ask.

“Just relax,” she says.

I turn around and find Lucy inside, cleaning up the taco wrappers and empty beer bottles. She looks up and our eyes catch. She smiles softly and my returned smile makes hers grow wider.

Presley’s right. I need to be honest with myself. I still love Lucy, and I don’t want to divorce her in two months. But the first thing I have to do is figure out if I love the new Lucy and if she loves me now after all the damage.

Pushing off the deck, I walk into our house, ready to do things differently.

“Where’s Brody?” someone on the other side of the firepit asks Cora and Toby.

“At your parents’.” Toby laughs and finishes off his beer.

Cora is tucked into Toby’s lap. Presley’s sitting on Cade’s. Everyone else is sprinkled around in their own chairs.

“Why is he at our parents’ house?” Nikki asks.

“Because none of you have kids,” Toby says.

“You better hurry because Marla is definitely ready.” Cora eyes Cade as Presley beams as though maybe that’s a possibility.

“Huh,” Lucy murmurs. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who heard her.

“What?” I ask when the conversation turns to Cade and Presley’s wedding plans for next year.

She turns to me, and the glow from the fire makes her even more beautiful. It takes me back to gatherings after football games in high school when she’d be in my arms like Cora is in Toby’s. I never thought I’d be in the situation we’re in.

“Why didn’t we have kids?” Lucy asks.

I shrug, not up for this discussion when everyone is here. The old Lucy had a lot of feelings on the subject. “We got married young. I guess we didn’t think about it.”

I’m lying and her gaze falls down. She turns back toward the fire, accepting my answer but not believing it, I think. She shouldn’t. I wanted kids and still do. I want the big family I had growing up, and I thought since we married young, we had the opportunity for that. It was the one argument we had and kept coming back to. She wanted to go for her master’s and maybe even her doctorate in education. Having kids would have only delayed that.

The conversation around the fire turns to bachelor and bachelorette parties.

Jed raises his hand. “I say Vegas.”

“Of course you would,” Nikki says, lowering his arm for him.

“Where else is there?” Fisher asks.

“I don’t think we’re even having them,” Cade says. “Neither of us feel the need to have one last night of freedom. We don’t see our marriage as a jail sentence.”

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