Page 44 of My Almost Ex

He pulls up in front of a gorgeous little house that resembles a log cabin.

“When did we buy it?” I ask.

“Right after the wedding. It’s not huge, but it’s… was ours.”

I hate those stuttering pauses when he talks about our past.

I open the car door and he takes my bag before climbing the steps up to the front door. He unlocks the door and pushes it open for me to go in first. I step in, soaking in the entryway and walking into the great room that has floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the bay far below. The kitchen is on the right, modern enough that I think maybe we renovated it. There’s the couch that was in the flashback I had about his head in my lap and the fire going. I smile that I put those together.

I hear him come in behind me and drop the key on the kitchen counter. “This is yours now.”

I glance back, too mesmerized by the view to give the rest of the cabin my full attention. “I see why we loved it.”

“Yeah, the view sells the shitty shape it’s in. Although I’ve tried to make some improvements.”

“Really? Like what?”

“We were in the middle of the kitchen redo when things ended, so I finished that.”

I look closer at the kitchen. It’s pretty with white cabinets, marble-looking counters, and stainless appliances. “It looks really nice.”

“Thanks.” He runs his hands through his dark hair. Then he points down the hall. “The master bedroom is that way, and there are two more bedrooms upstairs.”

Walking down the hall, I see there aren’t any pictures of us anywhere, which I guess makes sense since he’s been renting the place out, but it doesn’t make it feel very warm or inviting.

Just like the rest of the house, the bedroom is plain but nice with a queen-size bed and nightstands and dressers. No personal items that speak to the people who live here. It’s like four walls and a roof instead of a home.

I return to where he is in the kitchen. “I have some money. Would you like me to pay you for the rent you’ll be missing out on?”

He shakes his head and sits on a breakfast stool. “No.”

I want to ask him what he did with all of our stuff, but he’s back to being closed off. Being here is probably different for him than me. I feel as if I’m in someone else’s life, and he’s probably remembering when we had sex on every surface because we couldn’t get enough of each other.

He stands. “Let me give you something before I go.” He heads out the door and returns a minute later, heading straight into the living room. I can’t see what he has in his hand but he puts it on the side table by the couch then turns to me. “I need to go. You have my cell if you need to call me. I put a gun in there in case you have a run-in with a bear. And for fuck’s sake, don’t go running out there alone. Got it?”

“Okay—than—”

He doesn’t wait for me to finish. The door slams and his truck roars to life a minute later, then his tires screech out of the driveway.

I sit on the couch and stare out at the view. What the hell am I doing? So far nothing is coming to me. I thought this was going to be the big reveal. Like I’d walk in and magically all my memories would flood back.

The hardest part about this memory thing is that it’s like I’m in someone else’s life. Strike that—it’s like my life ended right after graduation and everything I knew to be true isn’t.

I walk around the house, opening up closets and looking under the beds. There has to be something personal here. I just need to find the right trigger to jar this part of my memory free.

The garage has some four-wheelers inside, but that’s it. As I’m walking back down the hall, I notice a closet I didn’t check. I turn the knob and nothing. There’s a deadbolt lock on the door, but I pull again as though I’m expecting a fairy godmother to wave her magic wand and unlock it.

My next mission is getting into that closet. A small part of me is happy there’s a chance what I’ve been searching for is behind that door. If so, then it means that Adam didn’t throw our entire relationship away, even if I did. It may end up only being pictures, but at least he didn’t destroy them forever.

---