Friday morning, I’ve decided on a trail for us to go four-wheeling and gotten the trailer and the four-wheeler out of the garage.
Lucy’s been a little off since Monday when we went to Marla and Dad’s. She was so happy she remembered our wedding day, but still… something about her demeanor seems different since then. I thanked Marla even if at the time I thought she was being pushy.
I love Marla. She’s never tried to replace my mom, but still finds a way to guide me like a mom. I should’ve trusted her instincts.
When I walk into the house, Lucy’s dressed and sitting at the table, spinning her phone.
“What’s up?”
She looks up and grabs her phone, standing. “Nothing, just waiting on you.”
“You were thinking pretty hard there.”
“My mom,” she says. That gives me all the answer I need.
Susan texts or calls daily. Sometimes Lucy talks to her and other times, if I’m in the room, she always ignores her, which I hate. I can’t help but think Lucy’s trying to hide the fact that we’re living under the same roof again.
Although nothing has happened—my blue balls are proof of that. I might beat off every night thinking of the woman in bed downstairs, but I haven’t laid a finger on her. When we were at Marla and Dad’s, I thought about it for a moment in the laundry room. But if I kiss her, I know she’ll have expectations, and I don’t know if I can promise her what she wants.
“What did she say?” I ask.
“I was asking her about that last journal that’s missing. I really want to find it.”
“And she doesn’t have it?”
“She says no, but if I kept every one from my entire life, why would I not keep the one from right before I left?”
“True.” I grab a water and open the bottle, then down a quarter of it in one gulp.
“Hey, Adam?” she says.
“Yeah?” I get the cooler ready with the sandwiches and snacks I made for us to eat midday when we take a break.
“Can we do something today?”
I turn around and place the drinks in the cooler. “Something else, you mean?”
She shakes her head. “No. I mean, can I have one day where we don’t talk about my memory or what happened or who I was then and who I am now?”
The toll from the past couple of weeks shows in her body. I wish I’d noticed it sooner. She looks exhausted and stressed. I desert the cooler and walk over to her, placing my hands on her shoulders. Against my better judgment, I pull her to my chest and wrap my arms around her.
Damn it, her body still fits perfectly with mine. Her head’s right under my chin and her arms slide around my waist, squeezing me tightly.
“I think it sounds like a great idea,” I say softly, running my hand up and down her back, not nearly ready to let her go now that I’ve given in to temptation.
“God, I needed this.” She lays her cheek on my chest. “You always were a great hugger.”
I hold her longer than is appropriate, but she’s right, this feels so good. By the time we separate, all I want to do is tell her we should spend the day on the couch, holding one another.
“We should go if we’re going to make it back by sundown,” I say while I finish packing the cooler.
“I’m so excited. Where are we going?”
“Do you…” I stop myself. “You’ll see. It’s a surprise.”
She smiles like she knows I almost slipped and grabs her jacket. “I can’t wait to feel that motor between my legs.”
I raise my eyebrows.