Page 82 of Ryker

Good. Glad we’re on the same page. Never mind that hearing him say that makes me dizzy and sick to my stomach. I’ve handled rejection before, and I can certainly handle this. Ryker doesn’t deserve a woman like me and I’m sick of trying to prove my worth to men who don’t want to see it.

Fuck this guy.

Fuck every guy.

I’m. Done.

Spinning on my heels, I march to the door again, but Ryker beats me to it. Slamming his hand against the door, he presses his chest to my back. “Don’t.” His hot breath tickles my neck. “I… don’t want to let you go yet, Tara.”

“You don’t get to make that choice.” I elbow him in the stomach and when he doubles over, I open the door and run.

Chapter 29

Ryker

I’ve never been this fucked up before. When Tara runs away from me, I let her go because she’s right. The choice is hers, not mine.

It’s never been mine.

I’m nothing more than a monarch butterfly—a pretty creature who’s poisonous to others. Tara just got a taste of me and ran. Good. It’s nice to see her self-preservation skills work. I’m almost relieved that it’s over.

Almost.

Listening to her feet beat the carpet as she dashes down the hall, I brace my hands on the doorjamb to keep from chasing her down.

This isn’t love I’m feeling. It’s not even lust.

It’s just a connection. One I haven’t had in a long time. I need to let her sever it for us both.

The stairwell door creaks and slams shut. My heart rattles in my chest, trying to burst out of my body to go after her. She’s probably racing down the steps, clutching the banister, her hair flying behind her as she flees far, far away from here.

I can’t breathe.

My knees buckle and down I go.

Air. I need air. I can’t see right. My vision tunnels until everything’s black except for a pinprick of light. My throat’s closing up.

“Call D!” Someone yells. I think it’s Vault. Of course, it’s Vault. He’s the one who monitors the cameras most. He would have seen the entire shitshow from his desk.

I don’t need him here. I don’t need anyone here. I don’t need—

“Hang on, Ry.” Vault nestles down behind me and wraps his legs and arms around my torso, caging me. It makes it worse. “Breathe with me, man. Come on. You got this.”

I don’t got shit. Fears tumble out of me. Feelings. Emotions. All my hang-ups twist into a noose that tightens around my neck. I’m choking. Suffocating.

“What happened?” Dmitri’s voice filters through my wonky hearing even as my pulse quickens to a deafening roar.

“Don’t know. They got in an argument, and she left. Then this.”

“Hey.” D pats my face. “Ryker. Breathe slower.”

“I… I can’t… I can’t see anything.” I can’t hear or think or breathe or move. The room’s spinning in too many directions. The voice in my head screams, RUN, RUN, RUN. But I’m frozen.

Dmitri claps his hands on my face and presses his forehead to mine. “You gotta inhale and exhale slower, man. Come on. I’m right here. We’re both right here.”

“I can’t let go.” My cheeks tingle. My hands go numb. “I can’t… I can’t let… her go.”

“She’s gone already,” D says in a broken tone. “She’s been gone a long time, Ry.”

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