Page 144 of Ryker

“Are you really going to play this bullshit game with me, Natalie?” There we go. Finally. My mouth does work. Now if I can get the rest of me going, I’ll be much better off.

“I’ve wanted to reach out to you but…” She gazes at the pond across from us. “I can’t believe they tore down the building and put this in its place.”

I stand up.

“Wait.” Natalie grabs my hand and I rip away from her.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” My heart pounds in my chest. “How can you even sit here with me, like we’re friends, after what you did?”

Her mouth turns down and eyebrows bunch. “I’ve thought of a million ways to say I’m sorry to you, Ryker. Sorry for bringing you into sex work. Sorry for the way I treated you. Sorry for not doing a better job of being there for you in the end.”

“The end.” Is that what she calls murdering my mother? “You ghosted.”

“I know.”

“You killed her, and you ghosted.” I toss my hands up. “Jesus fucking Christ, what are you even doing here, Nat?”

She takes in a deep breath. “I know what you think, but you’re wrong.” She looks up at me, squinting against the sunlight. “I didn’t kill Ashley, Ry.”

It takes forever for my mouth to engage. “You said it was a mercy.”

“It was.” Her voice shakes and it pisses me off. She doesn’t get to cry about my mom. “She knew what you were doing.”

I suddenly can’t feel my feet. Dropping back onto the bench, I sway with dizziness. “What?”

“She knew you were an escort.”

She’s lying. My mom could never have found out about that. I’d been so careful. “Bullshit.”

“I’m telling you the truth. She knew everything, Ry.” Natalie sniffles. “She wasn’t disappointed in you for your choices. She just didn’t want you to have to keep doing it for her sake.”

“I’m so tired,” Ashley says, struggling to inhale. Her breathing’s changed lately, but today is definitely the worst it’s ever been.

“Go to sleep, Ash.” Sitting on the side of her bed, I mark the page of the novel I’m reading to her and place the book on the foot of the bed. “We can pick it up again tomorrow.”

“No.” Her chest rises in short little bursts. “I’m tired.”

Yep. Got it. “Ryker’s gonna be home really soon. I’m surprised he isn’t already.” I know she likes to wait up for him. It makes the guilt of knowing what he’s out there doing so much worse. I’m the one who brought him into this lifestyle. I’m the one who’s fucked him up. I was only trying to help, but I now see it was a huge mistake.

Ryker’s no longer using escorting to make money. He’s relying on it as a distraction.

Ashley’s voice sounds raspy. “I know… why he’s out… every night.” Her eyes are barely open. “I didn’t believe… for one minute… that my old company has been… paying our insurance… or that he’s… working construction to… pay the bills.” She coughs again. “He never comes home dirty.”

Ryker would beg to differ on that. But Ashley’s version of dirty is not the same as Ryker’s.

Guilt has me panicking to change the subject. “Why don’t I get you some water, Ash. And maybe another pillow.”

“No.” Her breaths grow more labored. “Tell me the… truth. Is he… going to be okay?” A tear slides down her sunken face. The hollows of her cheeks have become so much more pronounced over the past two weeks.

My heart cracks into pieces.

“Yes,” I tell her. “He’ll be okay.”

“I’m so tired.” Ashley closes her eyes. “Tell him… when he gets home… you tell him… I’m so proud of who he’s become… tell him… I love my sweet boy… so much.”

Fuck. I can’t do this. “Let me call and see where he is.”

Ashley’s fingers are ice on my hand. She weakly shakes her head. “I’m so tired.”

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