Page 45 of The Sweet Spot

It feels like that first night somehow never ended.

I can’t figure it out, and I’m not sure I care or want to.

It just feels right.

Which makes even less sense.

“So...” Needing to get out of this upside-down spiral, I change the subject. “Do you want to talk about what’s happening with Isla?”

Deacon leans back in his chair and looks out at the lake. “Well, you know she asked if I would take full custody of Kennedy for the next two years. We haven’t settled on a nanny yet, and oh yeah, she also assumed you and I were serious, and you being there as a constant in Kennedy’s life was a big bonus for her.”

“Oh...” I’m not really sure what else to say.

I want to ask him if he liked the sound of that.

I want to know if that scared him.

Hell . . . does it scare me?

Should it?

Or is this my one chance at a family I might not get otherwise?

“She wants us all to do a family dinner this weekend, so Kennedy can get to know you.” His voice is pained, and there are so many warning flares that go off between that sentence and that look, I’m not sure which to dodge first.

And that thought hits me harder than any strike in any octagon ever has.

But that’s the thing... My gut has always told me when to dodge a hit. Dad likes to say it’s in our genes. Killian and I say it’s because we had a good teacher. Either way, I know when to dodge, and I know when to plant my feet and fight. And I’m thinking right now may be one of the times I need to wade into the fight.

“What do you want, Deacon?”

He finally drags his gaze away from the lake, and when he looks at me, I recognize the weight he’s carrying.

I’ve been walking around with it for weeks.

Different reasons.

Same weight.

“Here’s the thing... Kennedy is the most amazing kid in the world. Her heart is huge. I’m not allowed to kill a spider in front of her or she cries, this kid has such a big heart. But she deals with anxiety. Always has. She’s not big on change and generally hates meeting new people. It all makes her uncomfortable, and when she’s uncomfortable, she shuts down.”

“Poor kid. I can’t imagine she’d love moving to a new country with a new language and new customs.” What I leave unsaid is I can’t imagine it could possibly be easy for her to move into her father’s house and start a new school either. Add a stranger into the mix, and I might just make things worse—not better.

“No, that wouldn’t be good for her. I’m worried about how hard my schedule will be on her. Isla and I already can’t even agree on a nanny to interview, let alone hire. I’m worried. I don’t want to give Isla any reason to think that taking Kennedy to Japan is the answer.” He rubs his jaw and looks away again. “I’ve already missed so much of her life, I don’t want to miss anymore. But I also don’t want to pass up this opportunity with the Revolution.”

He finally looks at me, and I almost wish he hadn’t, his pain is so evident in every line of his face. “When I got hurt, I thought I’d never love another job the way I loved being a hockey player. Watching a dream slip through your fingers without having any control over it is a fucking bitch. But I didn’t dwell. I rehabbed as best I could and came up with a new dream. A different dream. Coaching was never what I saw when I looked into my future, but I’m damn good at it. And now I fucking love it. And getting this chance... it’s my one chance. If I don’t take it, it’s not going to come around again. I feel like I’m in a no-win situation.”

My heart hurts for Deacon.

“I already told you, you can’t turn down this job. Not now. You’ve already signed the contract, and this job is perfect for you.” My heart pounds wildly inside my chest.

I can’t imagine being in this position.

Having to make this impossible decision.

Maybe that’s why I do what I’m about to do.

“Do you know that my mom isn’t my biological mom?” I ask hesitantly, unable to wrap my head around my train of thought.

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