Page 88 of Seal of Approval

“That’s strange.”

“There are so many strange things.” I laughed. “They shorten the names of everything. Like Bailey, they’d call him Bails.”

Steve looked over at me. “You miss them, don’t you?”

I nodded. “They filled up all the hollow spaces. Everything felt alive with them.”

We spoke almost daily, but it was never enough. I missed the incidental conversations, the random things we’d talk about.

“Bailey keeps a list every day of things he wants to talk to me about or ask questions about.”

“Geez. I’m lucky to get more than a grunt from Harley.”

I laughed. I was lucky to even get a grunt.

“How’s your dissertation going?”

“Almost finished. I’m combining my previous research with what I just did in Haven Bay, plus what I have found published in scientific and academic publications.”

“Then what?”

“I submit it for review. Then I need to defend it in front of a doctoral committee.”

“All this to become a professor. I thought you taught for a while, got experience, got old, got a PhD, and moved into the role.”

“A PhD also opens up an array of research opportunities.”

I’d wanted this forever. Since my childhood when my father had continually told me I’d amount to nothing. I decided I’d amount to more than him. A university professor, a doctor, over a high school teacher. But it didn’t give me satisfaction anymore.

“Do you know why I wanted to become a professor?”

Steve shook his head. “I just thought you were the boring brother.”

“Dad always told me I was a worthless piece of shit.”

He shuddered. “I remember.”

“Being a professor trumps being a high school teacher.”

“So, your whole career was to spite our asshole father?”

“Yes and no. I chose marine biology because of Gramps and his sailing stories. I chose to take that to the next level to prove myself.”

“Why bother? That man is not worth our energy.”

“I know that now.”

But all my life I’d been trying to be the opposite of him or proving him wrong. I could have been living a fulfilling life instead. And now I wanted to be, with Jasmine. But maybe setting a time limit on my relationship with Jasmine was what had made it so successful. I didn’t need to think about the next five years or fifty years. She might have loved me for that reason. Because there was an end. Did I want something I couldn’t have?

* * *

My computer alerted me to an incoming call—Jasmine and the kids. I saved what I was doing and switched over to the call. Rose shoved Bailey aside and set herself up in the middle of the screen. He rolled his eyes. He was patient enough to wait his turn. But she obviously had something important to say.

Rose grinned at me. “We did art at school today. We had to make a picture of our family.” She held a picture up for me to see—a beach scene with people.

“You’re the mermaid,” I said, pointing to the waving mermaid. “And there’s Bailey and Timmy on the board.”

She nodded emphatically. “And you and Mum holding hands, watching us.”

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