Page 83 of Seal of Approval

I sat beside her and took a deep breath. No point hiding anymore. “When I was younger my dad would go on rampages. Not all the time. Usually, he just resorted to mental abuse.” I reached for Jasmine’s hand. She gave it to me without hesitation.

Trust.

“Mom didn’t protect us like you protect Rose and Bailey. She always thought he’d changed. Every single time I could see it coming, and she didn’t.”

Rose and Bailey laughed at Timmy. The freedom in the sound warmed me. I held Jasmine’s hand tighter.

“I’d hide with Steve. Sometimes there wasn’t enough time for us both to hide, so I’d let him get away.”

I shivered. It would be twice as bad for me when that happened.

“Mom would always tell me it was my fault, and that I made it worse by trying to hide.”

I don’t know why you’d say that to a child instead of trying to protect them. I could try to turn things over in my mind. I’d done it a thousand times. But my mother’s actions never made sense.

“At first, I argued with her, tried to make her see reason. It made no difference. Then I stopped. I stopped sharing my thoughts and feelings. The only person I spoke to was Steve. I co-existed with everyone else on the basis that I had no choice.”

I still did. I knew now that I was the major contributor to the failure of my marriage. Audrey hadn’t had much to work with.

“My grandparents didn’t force me to share, so I didn’t. And I didn’t want to, until you.”

Now for the ultimate truth. It came pouring out. Every last moment of that fateful day. “I hit my father over and over again. Just like he’d done to Steve and me a hundred different times. And I didn’t want to stop. I was just like him.”

I’d just shared all of that but what was the point? They were just facts, a part of my history. I was supposed to share how I felt now. I sighed. What was the point? Honesty was the point. Love was the point. But I didn’t trust love. Not when the people who were supposed to love you didn’t.

I didn’t know what to say or where to start. So, I didn’t. I just sat there staring at nothing.

Jasmine squeezed my hand to get my attention. “Thank you for trusting me enough to share.” She paused, letting the words sink in. Trust. It was all about trust. “I’m sorry for not protecting you like you protected us.”

I hadn’t said all that for her to feel guilty. No wait, I needed to use my voice. Say the words out loud. “I didn’t tell you all of that to make you feel guilty.”

“I feel guilty every day for not stopping Max sooner. I didn’t want you to get hurt. I’d never want that. I love you too much. I don’t want you to ever feel that I wouldn’t sacrifice myself for you.”

I tried to grasp all of her words. But got stuck on one.

“I’m not sure I know what love is.”

She cupped my cheek. “Ethan, love is what we have. Two people who are scared but willing to try. Trusting each other not to give up. Sharing ourselves piece by piece.”

I nodded. “Love is us.”

She leaned over and captured my lips with hers. She kissed me gently. Her lips held promises I’d never even dreamt of. Touching parts of me I never knew existed.

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

Jasmine

I drew my lips away and made eye contact with Ethan. His vulnerability was clear on his face. Pain and fear were part of his life. I’d do what I could to erase it. I caressed his cheek. “I know we don’t have forever. But I don’t want to waste what we do have.”

“Me either,” he said.

I needed to love Ethan as much as I could for the next two months. And because I never said I wasn’t selfish, I needed to soak up as much of his love as I could to get me through the rest of my life. I wanted him to stay, but I wasn’t going to stand in the way of his dreams.

“Ethan,” Rose yelled. “Come and watch Timmy.”

And I guess I’d have to share him.

We walked down the stairs hand in hand. Poor Timmy hadn’t come out all day after Max had been taken away. When the kids had arrived home, he’d gone to each of them to make sure they were OK, then never strayed far from them. When Ethan had come home, Timmy had sat with him for hours on end.

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