Page 80 of Seal of Approval

The last time I’d felt agony like this it was caused by my father.

Would the memory of Max plague me as long as my father’s had?

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

Jasmine

Ethan was sitting on the porch, staring out at the water. He’d been quiet and distant since he’d come home from hospital. He’d spent two days in there due to his broken ribs and torn spleen. Thankfully, he hadn’t required surgery. I’d tried to talk to him to figure out what he was thinking or feeling. But the old Ethan was back. He kept everything inside.

Rose went outside and sat on the chair next to him. She took hold of his hand, saying nothing and staring out at the water with him. A soft smile lifted his lips. She’d stuck close to him since he’d returned. She didn’t talk his ear off, just watched him closely or sat with him.

When he saw Bailey for the first time, he’d told him what good a job he’d done and how proud he was of him. Bailey had glowed.

Apart from that, we hardly spoke as a family. I guess we were processing it all in a different way. And processing led to regrets. For me anyway. And I needed to share them.

Max may have been sent back to jail, but did that mean we were truly free? What about the next time he got out? What about the memories that would haunt us? I was grateful the kids weren’t there to see him hit me or Ethan. That was a trauma they didn’t need to live with.

But the fact that they’d had to leave their place of safety was bad enough. Our home had always been a safe place until Max had shown up. Would his being sent back to jail be enough for them to feel secure again?

I touched my throat. Max’s big hands had nearly snuffed out my life. I kept thinking that I should have escaped with the kids. And with Ethan too. Coulda. Shoulda. Woulda. It’s a game none of us should play.

Rose came inside, and I went out, sitting in the chair she’d vacated. A week ago, I would have taken Ethan’s hand. Now I wasn’t sure if he’d accept mine.

“Are you OK, Ethan?”

“Yes. I’m fine.”

“Do you need some painkillers?” That’s not what I really wanted to ask.

“No, thanks, I don’t think I need them anymore.”

“OK. Do you want to go out on the boat? We can get Jack to take some more drone footage.”

“Maybe tomorrow.”

“OK.”

This was so much harder than I’d thought. I needed to thank him for saving us, for sacrificing himself. And I needed to apologise because I hadn’t done the same for him.

If I didn’t start saying the words, he may stay shut off forever. And I didn’t want that. I wanted our last months together to be filled with love and laughter and kindness and respect. I wanted to enjoy him and his presence. I wanted to remember everything he’d given me, including trust.

Most of all, I wanted to tell him I loved him. But I wasn’t sure this was the right time.

“Thank you for protecting us.”

“No problem. That’s what I’m here for.”

My stomach knotted. Did he really think that?

I faced him. “I never meant to put you in that position. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

He stood and walked to the door. “I know.”

My words weren’t connecting. He was fighting some demon I couldn’t see.

My heart followed him, but the words stuck in my throat. Would I ever be able to say them?

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

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