Page 50 of Seal of Approval

“Uh-huh.”

I ignored her and looked at Sara, inviting her to tell me more, like maybe why Ethan had visited her.

“Anyway, he was telling me how Bailey was smart enough to pick up that mistake and then he was telling me about Rose and how he loves the new words she comes up with.”

I loved it too.

“I took credit for that. I told him she hated learning her sight words at school, so I made a deal with her—for every ten she learnt off by heart I would give her a bigger, more impressive word to learn.”

She took the credit? It wasn’t just her. I was part of the deal too. I’d persevered with Rose day after day, week after week. I bought her book after book about mermaids until she was the best reader in her year. Just because Sara came up with the idea didn’t mean she should get all the credit.

Wait, what did it even matter who got the credit? Normally, I celebrated Sara for what she helped us achieve. And now I wasn’t? It was all of us who contributed, and especially Rose who did the hard work and fell in love with words. The fact that Ethan noticed and appreciated it made me feel all warm inside. Max wouldn’t have appreciated Bailey pointing out a mistake. And he wouldn’t have appreciated Rose and her aptitude for being the centre of attention.

“Jasmine?” Lily said.

I glanced between Sara and Lily. What question or comment had I missed?

“Have you bought Ethan a Christmas present?”

“I got him something small. I didn’t want anything big or heavy because he has to take it all the way back to the States.” My stomach dropped and weight lingered there.

“What did you get him?”

“I’m not telling you. You can’t keep a secret to save yourself Mrs Did the Coffee Smell Good.”

I looked down at my hands. Why did the realisation that Ethan would be leaving make me a little sad? Friends leave all the time. And that’s all we were. He was here for his research, and we were living together, pretending to be more than we were to protect the children.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Ethan

I took Jasmine’s hand as we headed to the weekly bonfire together. Hers was relaxed in mine as if it was natural for us. But it wasn’t. It was only for show.

We all fit into an easy routine together. I felt closer to them than I had been to anyone in a long time. This was dangerous ground. What if I let myself go and the true me came out? What if I hurt them like Max had or I turned into my dad? Being close to people could make you think you had some sort of ownership over them, that they should bend to your will. I needed to be on guard, watch my actions. I couldn’t get distance even if I wanted to. If the house next door was finished just after Christmas like promised, I still couldn’t move out. I was trapped in this pleasure I’d created for myself.

“You’re quiet,” Jasmine said.

“Just thinking.”

“About?”

What was I going to tell her? Perhaps a little of the truth wouldn’t hurt. No, I couldn’t. Audrey knew the truth and had turned it against me.

Jasmine stopped and twisted towards me. The kids kept walking. They weren’t going to save me. Jasmine searched my eyes.

“Does it ever get hard hiding yourself all the time?”

Straight to the crux of it. She wasn’t accusing or belittling. Her voice was gentle. She saw me like no one ever had. There was no point hiding because she already knew. Somehow.

“I learned to do it from a young age.”

“Because of your father?”

I took a deep breath. “Yes.”

“You know our house, our family is a safe zone where we share without fear of retribution.”

“I know.” I’d witnessed it many times.

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