Page 90 of Seal of Approval

Jack motioned me to the couch. “Jasmine was about to tell me how Ethan is.”

I sat on the edge. “He’s busy. We haven’t spoken for a few days.”

“Poor Ethan. He must be working so hard.” Lily left her sewing and sat beside me.

My stomach tightened. I’d been worrying about how much I missed him. Not about how exhausted he must be.

“I wish he was here.”

Lily took my hand. “I understand why he couldn’t stay.”

I sighed. “Me too. That’s why I didn’t ask him to. He’s been working towards this his whole life.”

Jack sat on the arm of a chair. “Once he gets his doctorate are you going to ask him to come back?”

“I can’t. That wouldn’t be fair.”

Lily gently rubbed my hand. “Are you scared he will choose his career over you?”

“Why wouldn’t he? We both knew we’d be over after the six months.”

“So, you’re just going to pine for him?” Jack asked. The voice of reason.

“No.” I took my hand from Lily.

“Maybe he doesn’t know returning is an option. You need to communicate that.”

Was it a choice he wanted to make though? I’d have him back tomorrow if I could. But there were two people in this ‘love is us’ equation. I rested my head in my hands. The worst that could happen if I asked him was that he said no. At least I’d know then.

“I’ll ask after his submission.”

I collected the mail and walked back to the office via the beach. I could ask Ethan to come back. The question was, would he be happy here with us? I sat on the sand and stared out at the water. I’d given everything I could and hadn’t feared rejection because it was inevitable he was going to leave. I hadn’t asked him to stay because I didn’t think we were enough for him. How could we compare to a prestigious career? In reality, I was hiding behind his job as much as he was.

The soft lapping of the ocean soothed me. The only solution in my mind had been for Ethan to come back here. Instead, we could always move to be with him. I gazed around the bay—quiet, secluded and calm, the water darker now that winter was upon us. This was our home, our haven. It didn’t mean we couldn’t make a home somewhere else. Ethan wasn’t the only one who could make a sacrifice. We could too. We could give up our slice of paradise. Being with him was the most important thing. That’s what I wanted most. And so did Bailey and Rose. Their hearts were full of love for him.

After his dissertation submission, we needed to talk. I needed to put my heart on the line.

CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

Ethan

I sat on the sofa with a scotch and let my body relax and melt into the cushions. It was finally done. My dissertation had been submitted for review. I stared at the printed copy on my desk. Over half a ream of paper. I’d never worked so hard on a piece of writing in my life. Even when my father had stood over me telling me my work wasn’t good enough.

After all that, it was time to wait. Wait for it to be reviewed. Wait to find out when my defence would be. Regardless of how long it took, I’d be prepared.

I glanced at the laptop on the sofa beside me. It had been weeks since I’d spoken to the kids properly. I always made an effort, though, to at least touch base. I never wanted them to feel they weren’t important. I’d been scared of having a family. But the love Jasmine, Bailey and Rose gave me proved I was nothing like my father or my mother.

Exhausted as I was, I wanted to speak to them. It was Saturday there. They might not be home. I called anyway. It rang and rang. I held my breath. Finally, it connected.

Jasmine’s face appeared on the screen. Her long brown hair fell around her shoulders. She wore a blue hoodie zipped up to her neck and her tan seemed to have faded. She gave me a smile. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Is that Ethan?” Bailey yelled from the distance.

Jasmine started walking. I could see she was heading to his room. “Let me speak to him for a few minutes first, OK?”

“Yes.”

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