Page 57 of One Steamy Pucking Meet Cute

I drum my fingers on the table, hesitating. “Can I admit something?”

We both have to wait as an elderly couple shuffles downstairs and goes to the kitchen, helping themselves to a plate of breakfast and coffee. They take a seat on the other end of the lobby.

Caroline nods. “What is it?”

I look down at Walker, who is aggressively gnawing a numbers and colors book, eyes wide and feral. “I understand it, but I’ve been having trouble knowing I missed the first two months of his life–that I was there the day he was born, and all I felt was anger and hurt.”

Caroline’s face scrunches up instantly and her eyes well with tears.

“Fuck,” I say, taking her hand and squeezing it. “I’m not trying to lay the blame on you. I understood where you were coming from. I really did. The situation just sucks, and I can’t seem to get past it.”

“You’re here now,” she says, wiping at her eyes. “And if I could go back and do it differently, I would. I think about it all the time. I just… I know I can’t change how things happened, even if I wish I could. But I try to remind myself that two months will feel like less and less of his life the older he gets. Every month we have with him just makes that gap so much smaller. So much less important.”

“And yet I’m going to be on the road and away from him during the season every year.”

Understanding seems to dawn on Caroline. “It’s okay, though. You’re here when you can be. That’s all anybody could expect.”

“But it’s not good enough… What are the chances I’ll be here when he crawls for the first time? When he says his first word? When he walks? I’ve already missed too much, and I–” I trail off, shaking my head because I don’t even know what I’m getting at. I feel this gnawing wrongness with the whole situation, and I can’t figure out how to fix it.

“When Grams and Edgar get back, I can bring him to more of your games if that helps.”

“You’ve got so much going on here. I can’t ask that of you.”

“You don’t have to ask it. Look, Jake… I know this is hard. And I know there’s a chance it won’t ultimately work out with us. I’ve accepted that. But whether we stay together as a couple or not, you will always be Walker’s father. That makes us partners in a way neither of us can change.”

“I don’t want to change that,” I say softly.

“I know. And I don’t care what happens between us. I will do what I can to make you feel like you can be as much a part of Walker’s life as you want. So, like it or not, I will come to more of your games. You’ll just have to live with it.” She sits back, arms folded.

I stare, then chuckle and nod slowly. I can’t quite put it into words, but something in her little speech hit me deeply. I’ve always respected Caroline. It’s probably the first thing that attracted me to her–even before I stopped to notice her curves or all the other little things. I’ve respected the shit out of her. The way she handles her business and organizes so much for the town without missing a beat. She’s a natural leader who does it without projecting her stress onto other people.

“You say that like it’s a threat.”

“It is. I’m threatening to make you part of this family, even if you try to run from us.”

I laugh. “I never said I wanted to run. I want this, too. I just… I guess it feels weird. It doesn’t feel like we’re giving things a natural shot because we’re obligated to be together from so many angles right now. For the B&B and my contract. To keep up the lie with our friends. To be parents for Walker. I guess I’m having trouble sorting through it all.”

“Me too,” Caroline admits. “So let’s just keep taking one step forward and see where it takes us.”

“Yeah,” I say. “I can do that.”

24

CAROLINE

The second day of wedding games looks like it will have an even bigger turnout than the first. After my gentle suggestion, Paisley appears to be more sober today.

Mia insisted on keeping as many of the games a secret from me as possible–a fact I’m still struggling with.

Today, we’re all gathered by the harbor. It’s not cold enough yet to be frozen over, but the waters here never really get warm. The game is set up on the long, gentle slope that leads to the water. It’s a beautiful place for the event, and I can tell everybody is enjoying the atmosphere as much as I am–at least I’m enjoying it when I’m not being a control freak and stressing over not being in charge of the event today.

“Relax,” Mia says, laughing a little. Her red hair is done up in twin braids that run down either side of her head. “I’ve got it all set up just like you would. Yesterday went great, didn’t it?”

“It did,” I admit.

“Then trust me to nail this, Cannonball.”

I slap her arm. “Stop calling me that.”

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