Page 36 of One Steamy Pucking Meet Cute

Why do I feel so fucking nervous?

I’m standing outside the hotel room, and my palms are sweating. I wipe them on my slacks, take a deep breath, and press the key to the reader. The door beeps, and I pull it open slowly. I find Caroline sitting on the edge of the bed. She has changed out of the designer dress, stripped off the expensive jewelry, and is wearing a simple oversized t-shirt that shows a lot of bare leg. Her curly brown hair surrounds her face. She smiles, pushing up her glasses when she sees me.

“Hey,” I say.

“Hi,” Caroline says. “I think we need to talk about something.”

My gut wrenches. I think about what Jesse told me. I tried to blow off his theory, but there was no point in lying to myself. Ever since he planted the idea in my brain, it feels like it’s taking root at an alarming speed. The look on Caroline’s face isn’t helping.

“Alright,” I say.

Caroline pats the bed beside her. I kick off my shoes and sit with one leg folded beneath me and the other dangling off the edge so I can face her. I glance at Walker, who is awake, but sucking on his pacifier in his crib and apparently content for the moment.

“At the gala, I was planning to tell you something.”

That weight from before slowly grows until I feel like I can barely hold my head up under the pressure of it. “What did you want to tell me?”

I’ve known Caroline for two years, and I’ve never seen her cry, so I'm too stunned to react when tears suddenly well up in her eyes and roll down her cheeks. I stare at the wet trails for a few seconds before I think of pulling her into a hug.

“Shit,” I say, uncertainly rubbing my hand down her back. “Did I do this?”

She laughs, then snorts and sucks in a breath. “No. This is my fault.”

“What is?” I ask. I gently let her out of the hug so I can look at her. The sight of the tears still rolling from her eyes makes me feel like I’m about to split in two, though. “Whatever it is, I can help. Just… stop doing that, please.”

She laughs again, wiping at her eyes. But her humor is quickly replaced by what looks like so much pain she can hardly bear it. “There’s something I haven’t told you,” she manages after calming her breathing a bit.

Jesse was right. Jesse was right. The words start repeating in my brain as mental alarms screech. Red Alert. Defcon Four. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

But no amount of terror is worth making Caroline feel any worse than she clearly seems to feel. So I plaster a neutral, calm look on my face and hope to hell it’s convincing. If she knew how much I was freaking out inside, she’d probably start crying all over again.

“If you never forgive me, I’ll–” she says, cutting herself off as her voice breaks. Fresh tears roll from her eyes.

“Hey,” I say, pulling her in and kissing her because it’s the only thing I can think to do. Her lips are salty from the tears. She shudders against my touch, and another quiet sob shakes her. I cup her face gently. “Walker is mine, right? That’s what you’re trying to tell me?”

More tears come. She nods shakily.

“It’s okay,” I say, hugging her tight and shushing her. How am I supposed to be mad at somebody holding this much regret and pain? What kind of monster could do anything but try to comfort her right now? My own feelings can take a back seat, at least for tonight–at least until I find a way to calm her down and stop her from beating herself up like this. “It’s okay, Caroline. I get it. I’m not mad.”

“You’re not mad?” she asks. She seems stunned enough that it has stopped her crying for the moment.

“I’m not mad. I mean, shit. I’m surprised, sure. But I’d have to be pretty dim-witted not to suspect it was possible, right?” She doesn’t have to know I didn’t suspect shit until about thirty minutes ago when Jesse planted the idea in my head. Or that I’m taking this a hell of a lot better because I had that half hour to go through the initial shock on my own.

“Yeah,” she says, laughing and nodding. “I knew you weren’t stupid. But… I meant to tell you. So many times. And then there was the press conference, and I didn’t want you to think of me like you thought of that woman, so I made up some guy because I freaked out and panicked. There was never any other guy. It was only ever you. For the last two years, it has only been you.” The words come out in a rush from her like water breaking from a dam.

“It’s okay,” I whisper. I kiss her cheek, then her earlobe, and then I find her lips again. “It’s okay,” I say, kissing her more.

I can feel myself shutting off my own flood of emotions. So much wants to break through into my mind, but it’s like when I’m on the ice–when my teammates need me to step up in a big game. Sometimes, the team needs their leader to show confidence, even if he’s not feeling it. Caroline needs calm right now. She needs reassurance. I can worry about me later.

It doesn’t hurt that my body has been wanting this for what feels like an eternity. The feeling of her body against mine again. The way she sounds when she comes for me. The heat of her breath against my bare skin. I’ve craved it all so fucking deeply.

So I kiss her deeper, softly pushing her back until she’s lying on the bed beneath me. There’s one way I can think of to get both our minds off this.

“Jake, I don’t know if we should…” she whispers.

“I need your mouth,” I say, trailing a fingertip down her shoulder to her chest until I can feel the soft swell of her breast through the thin t-shirt. “I need to feel you again. All of you.”

She grins. “It has only been a year.”

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