Page 19 of One Steamy Pucking Meet Cute

“Okay,” Jake says. “Okay, fine. We’ll keep working on that.” He’s got Walker set up on the changing mat with a diaper in one hand and wipes in the other. I see him pause as if he’s mentally going through a checklist before he starts.

Jake raises a warning finger to Walker. “I’m gonna pop this diaper open. I’m here to help you, okay? If you piss on me, that’s going to be bad manners. Remember our talk about manners?”

Walker actually calms a little, as if he’s responding to the way Jake is talking to him in such a calm voice.

Jake touches the diaper velcro, pauses, and gives Walker a look.

Walker starts kicking and pumping his arms up and down. Jake hesitates. “That better not mean you’re excited to piss on my face, Walker.”

He waits, narrowing his eyes as Walker kicks and waves his arms even more excitedly.

I’m smiling as I watch the little show between the two, even though it hurts my heart. I’ve been doing this on my own for two months now. I know some women do it on their own their whole lives, and two months would be a drop in the bucket for them. But I’ve also been trying to prepare myself for that. Seeing what I’m missing by doing this mom thing solo hurts in ways I wasn’t expecting. Seeing how good Jake is with Walker hurts even more, especially when I haven’t told him because he convinced me and half the world he never wanted to be a father. Well, I suppose it wasn’t me he was trying to convince. But I heard what he said, along with everyone who watched his press conference during the Sophie Gray scandal.

Jake moves so quickly after he pulls open the diaper that Walker couldn’t have peed on him if he tried. He pulls open the diaper and sets a wipe right over Walker’s weapon in the same motion. He uses about three times as many wipes to clean Walker as I would have but otherwise does the job with expertise. It takes him a little bit of fumbling to get the fresh diaper strapped on Walker and then a few more seconds to get the onesie clipped back on.

Jake lifts Walker up, and I think he’s about to put him back in the crib. But when he’s holding him, Walker reaches up and touches the gold chain around Jake’s neck. Jake pauses, watching as our baby holds his necklace and starts to shake it around. He smiles down at Walker, cradling him a little tighter as he seems content to stand there and watch.

My heart is melting, but I keep pretending to be asleep.

Jake bounces slightly on his feet like he’s giving it a try. Walker’s play with the necklace slows down over the next few minutes while Jake holds him. Eventually, Walker drifts off to sleep, and Jake sets him down softly in the crib. He glances at me, notices my eyes are open, and straightens suddenly like he was just caught.

He rubs the back of his neck, chuckling. “How did I do?”

“Amazing,” I say.

“He’s a pretty cool kid.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen him stop crying before he got his diaper changed before. That was impressive.”

“Well,” Jake says as he gets himself back on the couch. “If he’s going to be my pretend son, I guess I can try to teach that little barbarian some manners, right?”

“Right,” I say, yawning. I feel a little twinge in the back of my throat like dry hairspray and cringe. I had better not be getting sick. I haven’t been sick since having Walker, and I’m not even sure how single mothers are supposed to deal with that. I put it from my mind, even though I can also feel a little stiffness in my shoulders and neck now that I’m paying closer attention to my body.

“Just let me know if he needs another change,” Jake says. “I don’t mind helping.”

“Thank you,” I say. “But really, you don’t have to. I’m able to do this on my own.”

“I know you are. But I want to help. So, get over it.” There’s a playful edge to his voice that makes me smirk.

I close my eyes again, and I’m hit with a wave of disbelief. I’m in a hotel room with Jake Summers and we’re playing at being mom and dad together. I know I should keep the secret, but I’m also worried I’m going to spill everything to Mia and Andi once I get back. Paisley, though? I think she may have to be on the outside for this one. I love the woman, but she’s a touch too wild when drunk and might just spill it by mistake.

I try to imagine Andi and Mia’s reaction to all of this. They would lose their freaking minds. My amusement fades when I think about what’s at stake, though. If this somehow goes wrong, I could lose my bed and breakfast. It’s still hard to wrap my head around that.

I wonder how long I’ll have to wait to hear from Jake’s lawyer. Maybe we’ll find out the whole thing was bullshit from the start–Peter never had any grounds to threaten the bed and breakfast in the first place. If we did, I guess Jake and I would just… call this whole thing off. He’d have to cancel the ring we ordered yesterday.

And I’d have to pretend I wouldn’t be a little sad to see this cut short.

There’s no point in lying to myself. I’m enjoying these glimpses of what my life could have been like if things were different–seeing what Jake would have been like as a father and partner.

I sigh, try to shut off my brain, and close my eyes tighter. Sleep, Caroline. Go to sleep because Walker is already scheming his next wake-up, and it will be sooner than you want. That’s the one guarantee of motherhood.

8

CAROLINE

Igroan as I sit up in the hotel bed. My throat is on fire. My shoulders and neck ache. My head hurts. And Walker is crying.

“Just a second, Walker,” I croak. I fuzzily remember getting up a few times to feed him after Jake changed his diaper. I felt worse each time, but I was trying to use the power of denial to fight it off.

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